Today I was finally let out of the hospital. I went home and got my camera and got ready to film a YouTube video. I was doing a q&a because I've procrastinated against doing something for YouTube like nothing else. I got ready and started filming.
"Hey guys! It's Allie! I'm so sorry I haven't posted anything for a while, but I've been really busy." I smiled. "This week I'm doing a q&a! So let's get started!"
@Maydallas: How old are you? #askallie
"As of right now, I'm 20 years old." I smiled
@Caggie101: what's your favorite food? #askallie
"Pizza" I laughed
@MadisonBeer: did you like it when you saw me kissing on Cameron?
"You think you're cute?" I said flipping off the camera while rolling my eyes.
@Callie4ever: are you and Cameron still together?
And that's when I lost it.
"Sorry for crying guys. Don't worry about me. Also to answer the question. No we are not as of this moment." I said tearing up again.
I answered a few more questions then I signed off.
I was tired so I decided to go to sleep..
.
.
.
.
I was sitting on my couch watching Netflix when there was a knock at the door. I decided to get up and check who it was. When I opened it, it was Cameron. And he looked like a mess. I couldn't help but cry when I saw him.
"Allie, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that to you." Cameron said crying
"Then why did you?" I asked
"I don't know what got into me." He said looking down
"Well I hope she was worth this." I said pointing at us.
"She wasn't. Allie please, give me another chance." He said crying again.
"Cameron I'm sorry." I said starting to cry again before I began shutting my door.
That's when he did the unthinkable.
He pulled out a gun and shot himself in the head.
.
I woke up screaming, crying, shaking, sweaty, and out of breath.
I was having another anxiety attack. I hurried, grabbed my pills, a cold cloth, and tried to bring my breathing back to normal.
I needed someone with me so I texted Nash.
Me
Nash. I need you to come over fast.
Nashty Poo 💛
Are you alright? What's wrong?
Me
Just come over fast.
Nashty Poo 💛
Okay I'll be there in a minute exactly.
Me
Thank you so much.
Nashty Poo 💛
Allie?
Me
Nash?
Nashty Poo 💛
I love you & I want you to be okay.
Me
I love you so much Nash. It's not funny
Nashty Poo 💛
I'm here
Me
Come inside. I'm in my room. Lock the door when you're safely in my house please.
I heard the door open and then close. I heard him walking up the stairs into my room.
"Hey." Nash said sitting next to me "are you okay?"
I shook my head no.
"What's wrong?" He asked
"Everything." I said below a whisper.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked again
I shook my head no.
"Okay." He said getting up.
"Nash?" I asked
"Hmm." He said before I cut him off by kissing him
We were kissing before it turned into a full make out session but I didn't care. I started to take off his shirt, and he did the same.
Did I care that I was going to have sex with Nash? No.
Why? Because I'm broken. And he's the one that will possibly put me back together.
