mentally in love ☼ troyler au

XI

Troye

21.03.15

12:50 p.m.

"Tyler?" He nods. I was confused. Why was he here? Isn't this place for crazy people like me? For mental patients? For people who are mentally challenged? Tyler isn't mental. He's normal. He shouldn't be here. Has he been here the whole time?

I scoot closer to him and study his face. I was shocked. My jaw dropped. I felt eyes staring at me. They were probably thinking why I was looking at someone's face. Tyler starts to move his head, so I take my hands and hold his head in place.

Footsteps were walking towards me. I didn't want to let go of his face. Then, Tyler pulls away from my hands. I then look over at the nurse who had a needle in her hand. It was Nurse Abigail. Of course. "S-Sorry, Nurse Abigail. I just wanted to see if it was... Never mind," I say. I see her roll her eyes and walk away.

Nurse Abigail was the nurse who never cared. She was friends with Nurse Ashley. Then she died and Abigail didn't care anymore. I remember hearing her cry in Ward X. It was terrifying. Her cry made me cry. She was really hurt. And I rarely heard her cry.

"I-Is it really you? A-Are you really here?" I ask. He nods again. So, I decide to hug him. I then look over at Nurse Abigail. She was smiling at us. She was happy. I then look back at Tyler and he hugs me. He hugs me really tight, though. "W-Why are you here? Wha-He did not... Did he diagnose you with something like bipolar or paranoia or something?"

"Paranoia. I'm not sure why... He said it was because I reached my third strike." Third strike.

Third strike.

Nurse Ashley had strikes. She liked someone in Ward X. They called her crazy because she loved someone. And he said that was bad.

What I heard that nurses or therapists who fall in love with patients are faced with consequences. The worst consequences.

Nurse Ashley had watched her loved one, the patient she loved, die. He died in an electric chair that Dr. Winston kept in his secret office. Eletric chairs are illegal for mental patient use, though. But why did he do that? Why did he break the rules?

And then the next few days, she never saw light again. She rotted in her cell. The cell she rotted in was cell #67. The one across from mine. It was a sad moment. She was my favourite nurse. But I'm happy that her sister, Jamison, was still alive. She takes care for me. But now, I'm angry at her.

"Oh my God, Tyler. Why? You did nothing wrong... But... Wait... Did you make Dr. Winston mad or something?"

"I didn't make him mad... Well I did... But there was another part that made him much angrier than talking about his dad."

"What is it, then?"

"It's that-"

"Okay, time to go back to your ward!" I hear Nurse Abigail yell. Nurses pick up their patients and drag them back to their cell. Then, I feel a sligt tap on my shoulder. I look up and meet eyes with Jamison. She brings me up, but I shove her away and walk to an elevator. A few seconds later I hear her footsteps running towards me. She grabs ahold of my shoulder and turns me around.

"Troye, look. I'm sor--"

"I don't want to hear any of your bullshit, okay? I-I just want to be alone now." We enter the elevator together, and right when the elevator is about to close, a hand appears. I look at it and the doors open, revealing Nurse Alyssa and Tyler. She then allows him to enter first and her second. Then, the door shuts, going down.

I have heard they were moving all the patients in Ward X to the basement. It was because we weren't good enough? That's what Nurse Jamison told me a few days ago. She said that these cells have windows and it's a lo--

I feel a tight embrace. It was Tyler hugging me. At first I was shocked, not knowing what to do. I hug him also, about to cry. I missed him so much.

"Do you have any needles on you?" I hear Nurse Alyssa say. She's a bitch. She always has been. Never changed. I once had her as my nurse. She kept sedating me since I was "fooling around". 

"Yes, but I'm not giving them to you," Nurse Jamison says back.

"Why not?"

"You seriously want to break apart their love for each other? You can tell they are in love with each other. And I don't want to break them up." And this is why I love Nurse Jamison.

"It's in the rules-"

"Fuck the rules, Alyssa! Look at them. They're smiling. They're both happy. Troye is happy. And he has depression. This matters to me. Seeing him smile. That's all what matters to me. Seeing Troye happy. And if you want him broken up, away from his happiness, then fine. You're just making work harder on you."

Alyssa was dumbfounded with Jamison's answer. I was smiling like an idiot while hugging my loved one. The elevator dings. B5. The fifth floor of the basement. I feel Tyler clutching onto my body tighter. His nurse was pulling him away. But he was resisting. That made me happy. It shows that he cares and wants my warmth.

"I love you, Troye," He whispers before letting go. I smile and mouth, "I love you too, Tilly," and he was stripped away from me. Then Nurse Jamison takes my arm and pulls me towards my cell. I was put into the cell across from Tyler's. Still, cell #66.

This time, the cells have windows. I think they're bulletproof since this is an asylum and this is in Ward X where most insane people are. But I was happy. I saw Tyler. And I can see him all the time.

The door was shut and I was faced across Tyler. I smile at him. He smiles back. We did that for the next few hours. The whole time. We just sat there, staring into each others eyes and looking at each of our details. Studying it like we are studying for a test.

And I loved it.

☼

so im over zayn now

OK I WANT TO TELL YOU A FEW THINGS ABOUT WHAT MY CRUSH DID TO BE AKLGHDSJGH

1. well i told him ik how to say "fuck" in sign language and i taught him
2. he plays the electric guitar
3. we talked about how to flip people off in class without them noticing
4. he discovered phan by me and asked if they were both gay so i said "i hope so bc i think they fuck each other at night"
5. i told him that michael clifford is much paler than him since he said "i'm basically albino" and i said "michael clifford is much more paler than you he's basically albino and probably as pale as white paint"

OH YEAh i taught myself how to say the whole entire alphabet in sign language and ik how to say "fuck dick asshole bitch bastard shit bullshit" in sign language

ok also i am writing a phan fan fic called "flower crowns" !! i hope you check it out. it took me a while to make the cover and i needed lots of help for the description

chapter xi question:

do you think tyler likes troye back ?

insta: @awkwardclifford, @wallflowercamille, and @phntasia

twitter: @tbhalpacas

tumblr: @tbhmikeyy

youtube: camille handa

stay strong and ilyasfm xx

—camille