When you're ready

22. The same one

Camila felt butterflies in her stomach the second Shawn took her hand and interlocked their fingers in the school's parking lot. She couldn't help the smile on her face as they walked through the crowd of students holding hands. She knew the rumors around the school were that they were a thing since she first sat next to him on that bench during lunch, but for her, this was the confirmation. She never had a boyfriend before, so holding hands and acting like a couple in public felt like a whole new experience.

" My two favorite people!" Camila turned her head when she heard Brian's voice as he tried to catch up with them in the hallway. " So, Camila! Any chance you did that history assignment for today?"

Camila looked at Brian before rolling her eyes. The only class she had with Brian was history and they had an assignment due for that day that could be done in pairs and of course, she knew he was suggesting she should add his name to her work since it was pretty obvious she would have done it by herself.

" Stop trying to take advantage of her." Shawn said as they stopped by Camila's locker. " You should have done the assignment in the first place."

" What if I'm just trying to check my answers with her?" Brian protested.

" Are you?" Shawn asked in suspicion.

" No, but that's not the point." Brian kept on trying to convince Camila until she finally took the paper out of her bag and wrote down his name next to hers in order for him to just shut up. Brian quickly noticed when she held Shawn's hand again after putting the assignment back on her bag.

" What are you smiling at?" Shawn asked.

" Nothing. Nothing at all." His friend laughed before thanking Camila and walking away, finally leaving them alone again.

" You didn't have to do that." Shawn told her, but she just shrugged as if telling him she didn't mind.

Shawn walked her to her first class and they shared a kiss before going their separate ways, which during third period people were already talking about. She heard some girls gossiping about them in the restroom, some saying it made sense for them to be together since Camila didn't talk and no one seemed to want to talk to Shawn, but one of the girls actually shared how she thought they looked cute together, making Camila smile even with the others saying things she didn't like to hear. She was once again hidden in one of the stools, but this time she decided to walk out of it while the girls were still there, and their faces when they realized she had heard everything they said were priceless.

The rest of the day at school was spent with the both of them acting as if no one else was watching and Camila couldn't remember ever feeling this happy in the past two years. Shawn had his arm around her shoulder during lunch as he did the talk and she just stole his food and listened to his voice, but what she loved the most was during art class when she intentionally got some blue paint on his arm, which ended up on them having a little fight that got yellow paint all over her face. All the other students in the class looked at them as if they were out of their minds and they had to stop and clean themselves when the teacher scolded them, but Camila still had a hard time not smiling at him even when she told them off. It all seemed too good to be true, so much so that she wasn't expecting anything to ruin it, but of course something came in the way of how happy she was feeling.

Camila still had some remains of yellow paint on her face that she wasn't able to completely wash off as they got into Shawn's car to leave. They were both in a great mood, so much that Camila for the first started wondering if maybe it wasn't time for her to slowly come back to speak out loud again with other people, at least her aunt and her parents, maybe even Brian. She even thought that maybe the day she would tell Shawn why she had stopped talking in the first place was finally coming, but that line of thought was completely shut down when as the car left the parking lot, Camila noticed a blonde girl in a green hoodie. It was big on her and she was walking next to a guy Camila had seen before, the original owner of the item who she had seen wearing it the other two times she had a breakdown since she got into town.

" Camila?" Shawn's voice cut through the air and made her look away and focus on him, noticing that the car was no longer moving. " What happened?"

She only noticed her breathing was irregular and a tear had rolled down her cheek when Shawn pointed that out. He lifted his hand as if he wanted to wipe the tear off her face, but then hesitated, afraid he would scare her even more.

" Nothing." Camila wiped the tear herself and took some deep breaths to calm herself down. " I'm fine."

" Did that guy do anything to you? This is the second time you freak out when you see him." Shawn said that very slowly and she could see it took everything in him to ask her that.

" No. I don't even know him." She denied, not daring to look at the window again because she knew she might see that green hoodie again.

Shawn looked at her with a helpless expression. He obviously didn't know what to do, so she just unbuckled her seatbelt and hugged him, not sure if she was comforting him or herself. Suddenly she didn't feel brave enough to take all those steps she had been thinking about just a few minutes ago.

" It's not him." Camila finally told him as he held her. " It's the hoodie."

" What do you mean?" Shawn asked in confusion, looking down at her until their eyes met.

" That green hoodie he keeps wearing." She whispered before closing her eyes and saying her next words. " It's exactly the same one."

" The same one?" Shawn whispered back as she fell into silence again.

" I'm sorry." She opened her eyes again and suddenly there were more tears, but this time she couldn't stop them. " I-"

" Stop apologizing." Shawn cut her off and cupped her face, wiping her tears with his thumbs. " I told you, you don't have to tell me anything you're not ready to."

" You're not curious?" She finally asked in a low cry. " Or mad that I'm hiding something?"

" Of course I'm curious. You have no idea how many questions and theories I have, but I can tell this is hard for you and I don't want you to relive whatever was this thing that happened to you. And no, I'm not mad. I could never be mad at you. You were there for me even when I didn't know I needed you, so I'm trying to do the same here."

" You're too good." She laughed through her tears. " How are you even real?"

Shawn smiled at her and placed a soft kiss on her lips, using the sleeve of his sweater to dry her tears, and making her laugh as he made an extra effort to get rid of the remains of yellow paint on her cheek.