Some Things Cannot Be Fixed, They Can Only Be Carried

Chapter 13) Not Likely; But Possible

"Never said I felt lo—"

"Makoto." Mom's voice silences me. "I'm your mom, I can guess that you feel lonely without you having to tell me." She's probably smiling, to comfort me, since I can practically hear it.

I smile too, nodding. "Okay, yeah. I'll make sure we get there in time for lunch."

Mom tells me she's glad that I want to come by, and honestly, I am glad she asked me. I do feel lonely and somewhat sad too, which is normal for today, but I'd rather not sit it out alone. So instead of moping around in a vibe of doom and gloom—

"—we're going to make today a fun, special day!" I cheerfully tell Haruka when I return to his room and see that he's already awake again. "We're going over to my old house. You're going to see Ren and Ran again, and my mom and dad too." I smile, stroking Haruka's head. "Isn't that fun?"

Haruka's eyes glance up at me and I can feel that he agrees with me. He's probably not excited about being the center of attention, which he'll probably always be when over at my house, since mom likes to spoil him a little bit and the twins can't keep their eyes off him. But he probably is happy that he's not going to have to spend the day with me, and me alone. Not that I think Haruka dislikes being around me. I always have something to talk about so I must be somewhat fun to be around. But not on days like today, when I'm just constantly lost for words.

Besides, he hasn't seen Ren and Ran in real life since Christmas; which wasn't a wonderful Christmas, I won't lie. We'd only just told the twins about what happened to Haruka, since I kept on putting it off. But since mom, dad, Ren and Ran really wanted me to at least come over for Christmas dinner, I didn't have much of a choice to tell them then and there. It'd been a lot for them to handle, and they really weren't themselves for some time. But we video called from time to time and I'd send mom videos and photos whenever I did something fun or special with Haruka, so that way the twins could gradually get used to Haruka being this way. They probably won't be as strange around him as during Christmas, so we'll probably have quite a fun time. I won't lie, I'm honestly pretty excited about going home today.

And that's what we do.

As soon as Haruka's completely rested for the morning, and I've hoisted him into his wheelchair, we start walking in the direction of my old home. It's not easy getting there, and we have to make a fierce detour to avoid the stairs. We have to get all the way to the back of our house, where we can climb the steep slope that leads to our backyard.

"Just a little more," I pant while pushing Haruka up the little hill, trying not to slip in the mud.

Finally, Haruka's wheelchair gets to the top, and I can easily steer him onto the back porch. I don't usually enter my own home this way, and I kind of feel like a burglar, going in through the back like that. This is still my home. I remind myself while wandering over the wooden porch. I knock on the windows, in hopes that mom or dad will be in the kitchen to let us in. But it takes them so long to answer, I'm almost worried that I'm at the wrong house; what if I'd been away from home for so long that I don't even remember how my own garden looks? I start to worry.

Then the curtains move slightly and the slide door suddenly opens. Ren and Ran appear in the doorway, both wearing their good clothes like they're ready to go out for a fancy dinner.

"Big brother!" they simultaneously shout, running around Haruka's wheelchair to give me hugs.

"Oh my—" I lift both of them up, or at least I try, but they've grown so heavy that I can barely lift them from the ground. "You both got so big!" I shouldn't be so surprised though, since Haruka and I aren't the only ones who've gotten an entire year older, the same goes for Ren and Ran. Suddenly my baby siblings aren't babies anymore. Ten years old; that means Ran is almost a teenager and Ren's becoming a real big boy. It's strange to think that way.