Selenophile

Chapter 16

"Numbers too," Pandora added, "people are more likely to support something horrible if nobody knows it's them."

"That too," Regulus admitted, "Merlin, I can't believe I didn't follow my brother."

"Would've saved us a lot of heartache," Pandora gave a sad smile, "should've ran away when we had the chance."

They laid in the dark in silence for a couple of moments, Regulus absent-mindlessly running a hand through Pandora's hair.

"Dora?" He spoke with an unsure tone.

"Mhm," she asked, looking up at him through dark lashes.

"I was thinking that we should wait," Regulus said.

"Wait?" She scrunched her nose, "for what?"

"To have kids," he said slowly.

"Wait for kids?" She reiterated, "that's fine, Love, but why? You've been talking about wanting kids for ages now."

"I know," he smiled sadly, "and I'd love adding another to our family, but I just don't think it's the right time."

She nodded for him to continue.

"I don't think we should bring a child into this world while we're at war," he said carefully, "it's too dangerous, I want to know that my children, our kids will be able to grow up far away from all the shit we had to go through. This is our fight, not theirs."

"Ok," Pandora nodded.

"Ok?" Regulus asked, "you're not upset."

"Why would I be?" Pandora smiled, "your points are valid and I want to make sure both of us are in the same place before we start a family."

"Yes, I agree," Regulus said, "however, it's going to be hard, look at how they speak of Bellatrix, she's been married to your brother for nearly a decade and they've still failed to bear an heir."

"Let them talk," Pandora said simply, "their words will not kill me. I do not owe them a single thing."

He stared at her in adoration, a smile breaking on his face.

"I love you," he said, "thank you for listening, and for understanding."

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it, "you don't have to thank me for being your partner," she whispered, "our relationship goes both ways."

"I know," he said, squeezing her hand back, "I would never want to make the same mistake I made last time rushing into a decision without your input."

"It's too late to regret that, Reg," Pandora sighed, "that decision is long made, what's done is done."

He let out a heavy breath, letting go of her hand and withdrawing into himself.

"I wrote my cousin today."

"Which one?" Pandora asked.

"Andromeda," Regulus said with an unsure glance in her direction, "I didn't sign my name...it felt nice to send her a letter, though I know she won't reply. I don't know why, but writing them makes me feel happy, it tricks me into thinking I'm part of their family, that I have their love."

Pandora stayed silent and listened.

"Her daughter is six now," Regulus said, "isn't that mad?"

Pandora hummed in agreement.

"How'd everyone get out but me," Regulus frowned, "where did I go wrong?"

"Only Sirius and Andromeda, Love," Pandora soothed, "Bellatrix and Narcissa are still here."

"Bellatrix wants to be," Regulus said, "it's different, and Cissy....Cissy wouldn't leave because she loves her husband and Lucius is just like Bella, he supports the Dark Lord, and Cissy won't willingly leave him."

He fell quiet for a moment.

"If it were you in my shoes, would you have made the same decision?" He asked.

With a groan, Pandora sat up, flicking her wand so the lantern ignited once again.

"You know the answer to that, Regulus," she said simply, staring at his deep silver eyes.

They grew sad and a crease formed on his forehead, "I need you to say it."

"No," Pandora said, "no I wouldn't have chosen this path for us."

"What would you have done?" He asked. 

"Fight." She crossed her arms, "or run, anything I could to get away."

He stared at her. "I'm sorry."

"I've made peace with your choice many years ago, Reg," Pandora smiled sadly, reaching out to touch his face, "it's time you do the same."

He nodded and reached over to extinguish the light once again, settling back down into the sheets.

"They'll win," he said confidently, "my brother is on that side, they'll win, Sirius never loses."

What a lie.