[I was astray]

6

Ya Rabbi,
Please help me, im in need for whatever good you have in store for me. I dont know if i can take this anymore, my heart is in pain.. ya rabb please, i seek refuge in you from the

I cry on my prayet Matt, i have no where else to go other than to my Lord, i knew the power of tahajjud i experienced it before. I cry even more in hopelessness. I had no way out. I missed my family and my friends here and in Egypt.

---

I wake up early, rami was still asleep. I decided to make breakfast... for him too. I dont know why, im starting to feel like this. Its werid. I know its wrong but he more i see him the more i want to be around him more...

---

I put down the plates. Rami enters Just in time.

-تفاصيل...

-im not hungry.

-oh..

He acting cold, he takes a glass of water and goes back into his room.
im not sure why im hurt. It doesnt matter anyways infact I eat both of the plates without leaving him anything.

He comes back after a few minutes.  He doesnt look himself. I dont know how to explain it.

-y/n, get ready were leaving

-to where?

-just get ready.

-im scared why are you acting like this-

-dont make me force you too.

I dont need to change since i dont even have any clothes that were mine. Im wearing a baggy jumper and joggers. I fix my hijab.

-lets go

I hesitate,

-hurry

-whats going on?

He sighs annoyed and grabs my arm and drags me outside

-dont dare to fcking scream .

Tears fill my eyes, what happend?
where are we going? Why is he acting like this?

He puts me in the passenger seat and enters himself. He locks the door.
Im scared to even say anything. Hes clenching his jaw, his grip on the wheel tightens as we go full speed. I get a chance to look around, i dont know where we are.

-y/n forgive me, i have no choice

He says

-What do you mean... what will you do to me. Please let me go... you can say to them 'she escaped while i wasnt at home' or something.. just please

-shut up.

Tears start flowing from my eyes uncontrollably. We pull up, my heart is racing.  He phones someone and the next thing i know im being pulled out my seat by men, i scream and kick but its no use.

---

my head starts spinning.
Nothing happend, im okay
I was always okay.

My thoughts are all over the place,
i dont know how to feel.
Without hesitation i press on the gas, and go faster.

Sht.
How could i?
She didnt deserve this.

I had no choice,
It doesnt matter though.
Shes nothing.
shes nothing to me.

I repeat while My brain tells me otherwise making me  remeber her smile and her laughing.

I scream in fustraiton and go faster wanting to destroy the thoughts.

I cant,
I shouldnt have gave her away.
Im a coward.
What else was i supposed to do?
Y/n's figure appears infront if my eyes again.

"forget it... i know you wont let anyone do anything to me anyway... will you?"

The words ring in my ears my vison blurs : The last thing i hear is another cars horning before pain paralizes my whole body leaving me in pure darkness.