When The Flower Withers (Fleur Series #1)

Chapter 33

I thought it was finally over for the both of us... but it wasn't—just yet.

We made love...

For the last time, I gave myself to him.

I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else anyway. I knew to myself that it would always be him, it had to be him.

I didn't see it as a sin. It's going to be a sin if I'd do it with another man while I was still committed to him and never in my life I'd ever picture myself cheating. I didn't want to project to other people, especially to him, the pain I felt.

I just wanted all the best things to come into his life... at kahit wala na kami sa buhay ng isa't isa kapag nangyari 'yon, masaya pa rin ako. Masaya pa rin ako na naging parte ako ng buhay niya... na kahit hindi ako 'yong kasama niya hanggang sa dulo, naging daan pa rin ako para sumaya siya.

Kasi 'yon lang ang gusto ko—for him to be happy and free.

"Can you sing for me? Please?"

Kanina pa siya tahimik, hindi ko alam kung ano ang iniisip niya. I hoped he wasn't regretting anything. Masakit ang lahat para sa akin, para sa kaniya, pero wala akong pagsisisi.

I was at the right place whenever I was with him. I was the happiest version of myself whenever I laughed and smiled because of him. I was at peace and safe whenever I was resting on his arms.

I was loved every time he kissed my forehead.

Hindi pa rin siya nagsasalita... Gusto kong malaman kung ano'ng iniisip niya. Ayaw kong isipin na nadala lang kami sa mga emosyon namin kanina kaya namin nagawa 'yon... I did it with him not because I wanted to ease the pain, I did it with him because I love him.

Kung magiging mali man 'to para sa mga taong relihiyoso, hinding-hindi para sa akin. Walang mali sa pagmamahal. Magiging mali lang 'yon kung gagawin namin ang sinasabi ng ibang tao para matanggap nila kung ano ang mayroon sa relasyon naming dalawa.

"Sing for me, please..." I was the one who begged this time.

Ash wasn't my first in everything but he was the first one who loved me unconditionally and I wanted to hear him sing for me—for the last time...

Wala siyang sinabi pero umupo siya at inabot ang gitara ko sa gilid ng kama. Inayos ko ang kumot sa katawan ko bago umupo. He's already wearing his short and it lessened the awkwardness between us.

He gave me a side-glance before he began strumming the guitar. There was heaviness by the way his fingers do its magic on the strings, the sound it made was just pain... The music was all about pain and sorrow, I couldn't feel the love but I knew it was still part of it.

"Kung darating din ang gabing walang pipigil sa 'tin....
Kung hindi ngayon, aasa bang maibabalik ang kahapon?

Kahit sandali...
Palayain ang pusong 'di mapigil...
Sana'y tayong dal'wa sa huling pagkakataon...
Na hindi na para sa 'tin...

At sa bawat minuto, ako'y 'di natuto...
Ipilit mang iba, ako'y... maghihintay sa 'yo....
Ikaw ang aking kapiling sa huling sandali...
Kasalanan ba kung puso natin ang magwawagi?"

The face he made... The way his lips parted whenever the words were coming out from his mouth... The way he closed his eyes... The way his eyebrows furrowed...