Motherhood

Boundaries & Bridges

I push myself past my own limits,
always— to provide for my children.

I clean even when I don't feel mentally ready to,
do the dishes when I don't feel like standing.
I bring a smile to my face for my children,
even on my hardest days. I show no weakness.

I overwork & overwhelm myself, but i'm a mom.

I have put in my brain—
with the thought that,
if my house isn't clean,
I'm not satisfied with myself, not happy.
I am "too hard on myself", I know, they say that.
But that's being a mom, a damn good one at that.

Nobody can tell me who I am,
& say that i'm "less" than how I feel about myself,
only i can compare myself to whom I like to.

I am a mother, a full time caregiver, a provider, a lover & a wife. You can't tell me otherwise.

I feel incredibly guilty when I don't feel tired after a long day and I need to feel as like,
I did as much as I could with the day.

I'm hard on myself, I can be my worst enemy.
I can be a lot of things,
but i'll never be a bad mom. never.
I can be emotional mom, a tired mama-
but i will never ever, be a bad mama.

I heard
"you need to go across a bridge to find where it will bring you"

they never think of;
what if that bridge is a rocky path, a hill that you can only keep going up? it never ends?
what if you don't like that 'bridge'?
& where it's bringing you?
can you choose another bridge?
&. what if the entire time you're going across the bridge, you realize halfway,
you aren't ready for it or that isn't the right bridge you want to go down?

Not everyone gets to chose their bridge,
they're born into it. made into it. taught into it.
I feel everyone should have a freedom of speech when it comes to who they inspire to be or do.

I promised myself, when my children are older,
if they chose their own bridges...
I will walk across whichever bridges they want & choose and walk across the bridge with them.

My children will have a freedom of thoughts, choices and words, their own lives, no force.

I will not force them into a bridge,
they don't want. I will love them regardless of who they turn out to be, I am here for you both.

Just remember,

if you're on a bridge you're not comfortable being on, just know there's so many other ones to walk down & you got this. I believe in you, I really do.