Greed Fischer (BXB)

Chapter 13

My father chose to ignore me and instead talked to reception whilst I dragged my feet along behind him. One of the nurses took us to her room. She was sitting on a plain white bed and her room was very impersonal, with white walls and nothing much else to stare at. For her sanity, I hoped that she didn't spend all her time in this room. A man with a long white lab coat smiled at us as he left her room.

My father took a seat beside her bed and I leaned against the wall. My mother smiled at him but it didn't reach her eyes and I toyed with the thought as I watched them interact that my father didn't love my mother anymore.

It didn't make sense. Why would he go to all these lengths if he didn't love her anymore? Maybe, my father wished he did love her? Maybe this was his way of escaping? Of getting rid of her?

When my mother's brown eyes connected with mine, they filled with tears and I felt a sour taste grow in my mouth. I plugged my earphones in and turned up Brockhampton so I couldn't hear anything they were saying. My father turned around and frowned at me.

My mother had been in and out of rehab since I was four, so this...this wasn't some lovely development that meant change. This didn't work and my mother wouldn't change. She would stay clean for a few months and then my father's increasingly coldness would send her spiraling back down. It made me sad, to know that she relied so much on him to make her happy and he was slipping from her grip. In a way, I was angry at my father for not loving her like he once did, but love is love and not love is not love, at some point there's no control.

But this trying, this effort that he put in. Why would he do that? Why would he give her this false hope when he didn't love her? When he only cared because he had to?

My father was someone I had the most respect in the world for, but this, this I didn't get. This didn't make any sense.

Then, I wondered why my mother didn't love me. Why she would chase after someone who didn't love her and ignore the child that was looking up at her in adoration? Why would she continue to go after someone she could never have? Why would she hurt me, knowing that I had loved her so much? I wasn't sure if I loved my mother anymore. At some point in my life, I had been her twinkling star, the reason why she smiled after a long day at work. At some point in my life, she had given up drinking so that I could have a better life and I wondered where it all went downhill from there?

I said goodbye to my mother with Kevin Abstract playing so loud through my earphones that I didn't hear what she said in reply. I followed behind my father as we left.

"Iniko..." His voice hardened and he glanced over at me with a disappointed face as he pulled out of the parking spot, "buddy, that wasn't fair."

I sighed and pulled an earphone out, "Dad..."

My father sighed and didn't say a word as we drove home.

I was walking up the stairs behind my father when he opened the door and suddenly froze. My heart stuttered in my chest as I almost crashed into his back and stumbled over the step.

"Wha –

My father didn't make a sound and I frowned in confusion as dread's icy fingers wrapped around my heart. What the hell was in the house?

I side-stepped him and looked over his shoulder. There slipped underneath the doorframe was an A4 printed photo. My mouth felt dry when I saw it and my heart stopped dead.

"Dad, it's not what it looks like!" I rushed out as I pushed past him and picked it up with shaking hands, "t-that's not...that's not..."

In my hands was a picture taken at lunch and it specifically featured a certain someone kissing a certain someone in front of certain friends. Fuck! I felt a dark blush paint my cheeks as I scrunched the photo in my hands.

"I see why you said he wasn't a friend..." My father said in a hard tone as he raised an eyebrow at me.

I stared up at him and my jaw dropped, "Dad...no I'm n-not...I'm not gay! That's not...it's not like that!"

"Then what is it like, Iniko?" My father crossed his arms over his chest as his eyes gravitated to the piece of paper scrunched in my hand, "you sure stayed away from Greed Fischer after I told you to."

"Dad..." I stuttered, "D-dad...it's not like that! I'm not gay!"

"I don't care if you are...but I think I would have preferred if you told me first rather than...this." His eyes flickered down to the piece of paper in my hands again and hardened slightly.

"Dad! I'm not! Greed...we're not like that!" I stammered as my heart roared in my ears, "I don't have anything to do with Greed Fischer!"

"Really?" My father raised his eyebrow again and everything about this was so wrong.

"Dad...I...I don't..." I struggled out as I ran a hand through my hair anxiously. "I'm not...it's not –

My father sighed as he stared down at me, "Iniko, why didn't you tell me, you and Greed were..."

"Because we're not!" I defended myself, "it's complicated, Dad...we're not like that."

"Maybe I shouldn't have told you to stay away from him..." My father mused as he ignored me, "are you dating? Is this a long-term thing?"
"Dad! It's not anything! Listen to me!" I yelled loudly, "Greed and I aren't anything!"

My father didn't seem to believe me. Once again, he looked at the scrunched paper and his soft green eyes seemed slightly conflicted as they looked back up at me, "Niko, buddy, I don't mind if you're –

"Dad! I'm not!" I screeched, "Greed is just...Greed, okay? And it's just complicated!"

My father nodded but I could tell he didn't understand, "so, you're not dating...?"

I shook my head and bit my lip nervously, "no."

My father seemed to contemplate something for a little longer before his face grew serious, "who would put this here?"

I shrugged as slight fear burst in my heart, "I-I...I'm not sure, Dad."

But I knew who it was the moment I had seen the green football bag on the table the photo had been taken from. Finlay Jeffards, it seemed, wanted to even the score. I could only hope that this was as far as he was going to take it.

"So, you kissing Greed..." My father struggled out, "what does...what does that mean, buddy?"

"Nothing." I said quickly.

"Okay..." He nodded slowly, "I...I'm not sure what to say, Niko."
"I know..." I said quietly as my mind drifted to the ball of paper in my hands.

I knew it was hard for my father to understand what I was trying to say. Possibly, he had made up his mind and thought that Greed and I were something more than I was letting on. I saw the slight suspicion in his eyes as his eyes flickered back to my hand.

"Is he uh...is he good to you?" My dad asked unsurely as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Dad!" I yelped slightly, "we're not like that...Greed is Greed...it's complicated."

"Okay..." He nodded to himself before patting me lightly on the shoulder, "goodnight, Iniko."
"Goodnight, Dad." I sighed.