𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 － 𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑔𝑖𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚠𝚘

"Huh?" Leila responded eyes on Luke's songbook, she was sitting on the couch beside the brunette helping him pick out what songs they wanted to play tonight.

"I found your songbook." He said leaning over the railing of the loft.

Immediately Leila's head snapped up. She didn't know where her songbook went when she didn't summon it to her hands however she had always assumed it was in the darkroom she had once been in not in the loft of the studio.

"What?"

"Yep!" Reggie said flipping through the pages. He knew most of the songs written in them, some he had helped write. Then he landed on one of the last pages, dated after his death. He stopped with a frown, "what's this?"

"Reggie, don't touch my songbook!" She said standing up, dropping Luke's book into the boy's lap.

"Breakeven?" Reggie mumbled the song title ignoring the blonde girl calling his name.

The page had dried spots on it that Reggie could only assume were dried tears. The words were heavy, the ink large like she had dug the pen into the paper with every word she wrote.

"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even" he read off the page not daring to speak or even look up from the page.

Every song Leila wrote always held a lot of emotion but this one... there was something he couldn't shake about it.

"Reggie!" Leila called.

"Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even, no" he kept reading. "What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you? And What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK? I'm falling to pieces, yeah. I'm falling to pieces."

Every word Reggie read made the pit in his stomach sink more. He felt he would regret reading these words but he couldn't look away.

"What is it?" Alex asked.

"Is it a good song?" Luke asked.

"Reggie..." Leila warned.

Reggie glanced up now, reading the words quietly however every word could be heard loud and clear in the otherwise silent studio, "They say bad things happen for a reason But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding. 'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grievin-"

Leila appeared beside him, snatching the book from him before he could read another word.

"I've told you a million times not to touch my book!" She said holding it to her chest protectively.

"You wrote that..." Reggie started however he couldn't finish his sentence, he started again, "You wrote that after we..." he glanced at his bandmates, "after we died. Didn't you?"

"Reggie..."

"Didn't you?" Reggie questioned stubbornly.

"Yeah. It was one of the last songs I ever wrote before I died too." Reggie flinched at that word. He could barely handle thinking of his own death, Leila's was something he couldn't even begin to, though he didn't know much about it to start with even just imagining her dying in any way hurt.

He looked down. "Leila, I... I didn't know."

"It's fine." She smiled. It was a lie.

"I didn't know." He repeated looking at her blue eyes.

"Reg, it's fine." She pushed.

Reggie poofed down to the studio below, Leila following immediately. "I knew... I knew our deaths hurt but..."

"You thought the way I handled it was drinking not songwriting." Leila replied bluntly.

"We still haven't talked about that..." Luke commented.

"Look, it's fine. I have you guys now." Leila smiled as much as she could. It was still a lie.

Reggie frowned seeing through it. "But you were alone then."

"I wasn't alone." She shook her head.

"You didn't have us." Reggie responded sharply.

"No. I didn't." She agreed, looking down.

"God I... I hate that." Alex said, running a hand through his hair. "I hate that you were— you were alone."

"I wasn't alone." She persisted.

"Yes you were!" Reggie snapped Alex and Luke looking between each other before poofing out without a word. "Okay... You were alone because we weren't there! Because I wasn't there!"

"Reggie..." Leila said blue eyes on blue.

"You invited me to go with you. And I didn't go." Reggie told her stubbornly. "I didn't go, Leila, and you were alone."

"It's fine..."

"God, Leila, no it wasn't." He shook his head in disbelief, "You weren't fine. You drank, you partied, you— you changed. Because I wasn't there."

"It's not your fault." She protested.

"I said no!" Reggie snapped, "I said no when I should've said yes. And you can't tell me if I had went that things wouldn't have changed."

Leila looked down. He sighed.

"When we..." Reggie cut himself off, starting again, "When we died, we lost you. We lost everyone." He told her, "But we had each other. You didn't and I— I hate that."

"Okay fine, but we can't change that, Reg." Leila told him sternly, stepping forward until she could feel his breath on her face until their lips were inches apart. "We can't change that." She repeated softly, grabbing his hand.

He looked at their intertwined hands, his voice cracking, "I should've said yes." Leila's heart hurt as she heard the pain in his voice, unable to do anything but look into his blue eyes and listen, "I should've been there."

"Hey," Leila said getting his blue eyes to meet hers, "You're here now." She said softly, holding his hand tightly as if to prove her words.

"I'm never leaving again." He promised her, Leila smiled softly.

"I'll hold you to it, Peters."

♪ 𝟷,𝟽𝟹𝟶 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 ♪

Song in Chapter:
Breakeven by The Script

Disclaimer
I do not own the song used in this chapter