The Glade

21. Newt

Newt pov

I watch in the corner frozen, feeling powerless as Clint takes the syringe to her body. For a moment, we think it might work, but only the people who put us here could be as cruel as this moment. I watch in horror as she goes from limp to homicidal maniac, jumping onto Gally, attempting to claw his eyes out.

I couldn't even muster the strength to help them hold her down. I stay frozen in the corner watching it all unfold. I hate myself for what I am in this moment. I couldn't even be there for my friend. Why couldn't I be there for her?

Again, she seizes, then stops. We watch as Clint takes his finger to her throat and says, "She's gone."

Everyone stands there, I'm not completely sure what exactly happened. It was only yesterday that we sat in the gardens, eating cherries and talking about her future with him as she held my hand. I look down at my hand and can still feel her grasp, the warmth of her hand, the softness of her skin. My lungs restrict, I can't breathe, I need to leave.

Gally is the first to move. He gets to his feet and storms out of the room. I don't blame him. I want to do the same, but I'm still frozen to the spot.

I look around the room as the reality of the situation sets in. Minho is the next to leave. He sprints out of the room. He's gone before anyone can stop him. I don't imagine anyone would want to.

Nick is the next to move. "I'll call a gathering and notify the group." He leaves without looking at anyone.

Now, it's only Clint, Jeff, Fry and me. Fry doesn't say a word, he just leaves. Which leaves me.

"Should we..." Jeff starts, but can't finish.

"Just, give it a moment. We can make preparations once everyone knows." Clint says, kneeling down, picking her body off the floor, and placing her on the medical cot. He takes a deep breath before looking at me. "Couldn't just leave her there." He says like he needed to convince me it was a good idea. It was a good idea.

I make my way to the table where Clint lay her. Her hair wet from sweat and matted from the struggle. Her skin is pale with tendrils of black veins snaking their way from her arm and across her body. This isn't how I want to remember her.

I look away. The lump in my throat becoming harder to swallow. I leave in hopes of finding a kinder memory of her, maybe in her cabin.

As I exit the Med-Jacks, a group of boys come running from across the field. At the lead, Dmitri and Dave, followed by the builders and the slicers. My heart breaks for them and what they're about to find. Unable to watch another person suffer this, I turn quickly and head to her cabin.

I'm half way there when I hear it. A banging sound echoing across the field and off the walls. It sounds like it's coming from her cabin. I hurry my pace to see what it is.

Gally was already there, axe in hand tearing chunks off the south wall. I stand back and watch him, scream and hit, hit, and scream until finally he collapses to the ground.

When he sees me, he gets up again wielding the axe. Unsure of what he's about to do, I step back, putting my hands up defensively.

"I didn't want this for her! I didn't want her to go! I told you this! Why did you put her in there?"

I don't say anything. I don't think there is anything I can say. He turns back to the cabin, taking chunks out with his axe again. He's able to hit it three more times before the axe gets stuck. He screams again and begins to tear into the wood with his bear hands. I watch as his hands get bloody, the harder he works.

"I didn't want her to go!" He screams again, pulling out a broken piece of two-by-four and throwing it in my direction.

Still, I stand in silence.

With the last of his energy, he screams out in rage and sadness, before collapsing to the ground in front of the now half torn wall.

Feeling safe, I move to where he is and stand next to him. He makes no move to look at me. I place a hand on his shoulder, wondering if there is anything I can say to ease his pain.

Finally, something comes to me. "No one will understand the breadth to which you loved her. No one will understand the grief that fills the space she used to live in. But try to understand this. Many people here cared for her, even loved her. Although it was not in the same ways you loved her, you're not alone in how deeply she was cared for. You don't have to accept it, but we'll be here to catch you if you fall."

He doesn't say a word, only reaches up and squeezes my hand. We stay this way silently crying together.

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We found out later it was the blade from a Griever's stinger. We're not sure how it got detached, but it had and sat just under the vines.

Other than what was essential, duties were cancelled for the next few days. This suited everyone fine. No one seemed in a mood for work, and rightly so. Gally spent his days tearing down her cabin. He refused to eat until it was done, then took the wood and rubble to the pit and set it all on fire.

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On the third day, we held a vigil. Not everyone attended, but at the very least Gally showed up, and that's all I could have hoped for for her sake.

Nick was the first to speak.

"Good evening everyone, and thank you for coming. By your presences alone, I'm sure ______ can feel how much you cared. If anyone would like to say something, now is the time." Nick steps aside and we wait for the first person to speak.

"She was a damn fine Slicer." Winston came forward. "She was one of the better ones, a natural. She had this calming presence in the barn that put any animal at ease. She worked hard and she will be missed, Especially by Brisket, who hasn't been the same." He wipes a tear away and steps back for someone else.

Next, Frypan steps forward.

"We didn't spend a lot of time together, but for the times we did, man, she was a delight. She took as good as she got and she made me smile. I like that quality about her, her ability to make people smile." Fry steps back.

Minho steps forward, looks like he's about to open his mouth, then steps back.

As Dave and Dmitri step forward, Gally quietly leaves.

I step away to follow him. We're almost out of the forest when turns on me.

"Stop following me, Newt." He snarls, then turns around to continue walking.

"Where are you going?" I ask, still following him.

"None of your business."

"You're not going to say anything? This could be your last chance to say something." I say

"My last chance was right before we gave her that poison. Now she's gone, so excuse me if I don't want to sit in a circle, saying sad things to the air. And if you don't stop following me, we'll be arranging your funeral next." I stop and watch him make his way to Homestead.

I don't know how to help him like this, so I do what I can and head back to hear the rest of the speeches. When I get back, Henry is the last to finish what he had to say.

"... No one treated me as well. as she did. She was my friend, probably my best friend."

With that, the funeral was over and everyone begins to leave.

"Aren't you coming?" Fry asks me.

"No, I just need a minute. You go on ahead." I wait for them to leave, then pull a flower out of my shirt pocket.

Staring at the wooden cross they made for her, I take the flower and tie it to the cross at the top.

"Goodbye." I whisper, rubbing my thumb across where they carved her name, before heading to the Mess to meet the rest of the guys. 

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Broken record I know, but again thank you for reading to the end. I hope it was sort of enjoyable if you made it this far.