'where we are now' remus lupin & regulus black

Iris

Okay, I think again, what's the worst I can live through?

I don't like that question so much, either. However, it brings me an odd sense of calm as I ponder it because, i'd already lived through the worst. Right?

The train ride came to an end and the usual routine of getting off Hogwarts Express and filling the great hall seemed to pass by with a blink.

"Cordelia?" Lily grabs my hand from across the table. "Are you okay?"

I cant remember entering the great hall.

I smile weakly, "Fine, I think i'm going to sit with Amos," I say loud enough so no one else will question it.

As I stand up and turn around, I meet face to face with Mcgonagall. "Sorry I was on my way to the Ravenclaw table right now," I rush out.

She doesn't scold me. She doesn't question me. "The headmaster would like to see you, Lupin and Black in his office. Will the three of you please come with me?"

I don't answer. I can't think of a way to protest, but I instantly know I want too. This is bad, this is very bad, the voice in my head repeats again and again. But she doesn't wait for an answer. Remus pulls me along and I follow unwillingly, trying to think through the panic.

My mother has this gift, she's very perceptive and very in tune with the world around her. As hard as it is for me to admit, I questioned what she said about Remus. Sometimes, I wonder if it's possible she passed that gift on to me.

As we walk the halls, Remus and Sirius are bantering playfully and I feel like I am floating outside of my body. Maybe I just need a spliff.

We enter the headmasters office and Amos is seated in one of the four chairs across from Dumbledore's desk. The old mans expression is unreadable. 

I sit next to Amos, Remus sits to my right and Sirius sits in the last seat, next to Remus.

"I fear i've had to summon you here on grave circumstances," Dumbledore's voice is emotionless. Are we in trouble for something? Has he finally caught wind of all the parties we've been throwing?

"Okay, let's talk," I say. It sounds braver than it feels.

He takes a deep breath.

"Iris Hawthrop is dead."

I take a deep breath, too.

"What do you mean?"

"Her parents, her younger brother and Iris herself were murdered by death eaters on January first. The theory as of now is because they refused to stop interacting with non-purebloods." He cleared his throat, "I believe the term is Blood-Traitor"

Sirius stands up abruptly, leaving the room at once.

His answer confuses me. He's got it all wrong. I just saw her that night.

With a roll of nausea, I realized, I understood.

Amos is sobbing loudly besides me but I don't hear it. I can't hear it.

Remus reaches for my hand but I pull away quickly.

I shake my head back and fourth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waits without any sign of impatience. It takes a few minutes before I can speak.

"Did she suffer?" Amos chokes out, standing up slowly.

"There was evidence of the Cruciatus curse."

Amos vomits, I cringe and begin to feel sick as well.  McGonagall mutters scourgify under her breath and the vomit is gone but I still feel faint.