Dark Lust

Ciaran

I watched Jolie all fucking night hoping maybe, just maybe, she would still feel our connection we have built between us. All I got from her was the fucking wall Donald Trump built. She had the nerve to give me that knife I had engraved for her back to me. That made me fly off the fucking handle.

She walked away and I hit the knife off the bar so hard, I put a tiny chip on the bar. Good thing we get a shit ton of drunks in here or else it would be another thing my dad would have my head about.

I was ending my shift early. I went to the back room to get my stuff and I had a fucking freak out, smashing items I had no reason to smash such as glasses and extra liquor bottles my dad was planning on taking back home. My hand bled from punching the wall repeatedly. I don't always have an anger problem, but when I do, it's because of fucking Jolie.

My Jolie.

I want to tear her apart. Shatter everything she owns and cut her up from limb to limb. I also want to choke her out as I uncontrollably fuck her from behind and claw her back to the point she bleeds all over my body. That is, only if she doesn't kill me first.

"Ciaran, you need to calm down. This is not the way to handle anything!" One of my co-workers Megan says.

"You don't understand the fuckery I am going through right now. If you did, you would understand."

"If it has something to do with your stripper girlfriend breaking your heart, I do have experience."

"Oh yeah? Enlighten me. Did your beloved man decide enough is enough and wants to start their life over again, starting at the point right before you two met? How about giving you back a gift that you personally had engraved for him?"

"No." I sneer at her answer. Of fucking course not. "But he cheated on me with my best friend and now they are getting married. We were together for six years. They were together for four months."

Okay, so she beat me. That's worse than my pain. It doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel pain. I look around the backroom I just destroyed. I could have managed it much better than this. I was lost in the moment of anger. I still don't regret it. I've said it once and I will say it again. Fuck my father.

"The best thing you can do is surround yourself with people that make you happy. Then happiness will find you."

"Are you telling me that we should hang out? Because you are the most optimistic person I know."

"I wouldn't complain."

I eye her. I walk up to her and look her up and down. I see her blush.

"Megan," I say. "I am going to say this as politely as I can. Fuck. Off."

I left Megan in the backroom and just in time for me to see Jolie leaving the club. That weird guy who smells like he belongs in a fucking sewer watched her walk out the door. He downs his drink and makes his way out a few seconds later. Whatever he thinks he's going to do, he's wrong.

I follow him out seconds after him. You would think we planned this whole stunt. I hear him calling Jolie a goddess. Yeah, she is. But she isn't your goddess, buddy. My heart starts to thump out of my chest and I feel the heat in my body start to rise when he touches her. His feet are smashed on top of hers and her hands are pinned to the brick wall.

Not in a fucking million years, bro.

I flick the knife open and stand behind him. Jolie is so distracted by him, she doesn't notice me. I slice open the back of his neck and stab him in his backside. The blade and my hand are covered in his blood. It's probably contaminated with diseases galore.

He slumps over Jolie. Jolie and I make eye contact as I push him off her and onto the ground. He makes no movement. His breathing is light, almost gone entirely.

Jolie is worried if I killed him. Not yet. He will bleed out mainly from the slice on his neck. He deserves to die, fucking pervert. He's the last person Jolie should be concerned about. Think of how many women I just saved.

But what else does Jolie have the nerve to do? Go strut to Dax as if he's the king of her world. I should have offered him instead. He was always in the background and now he's every fucking where. I'm sick of this shit. I'll kidnap Jolie and take her far away from this place.

They talk for a little bit and Jolie ends up in Dax's car. My eyes never leave her, even as he drives away. Wherever they are going I'll be waiting. I hop in my car and as soon as I see Dax's car take the first right, I know their destination. His fucking apartment.

They park in the parking garage. I park outside of the building. I don't hit my steering wheel in anger or scream out my frustration. I lay my head on the wheel and wonder where the fuck I go from here.

I should go home. This has to be it. She's done with me. She's never going to want me back. Jolie has obviously moved on. I'm destined to be with a fucking pornstar and eventually be as powerful as my dad. There is no other future for me. I'm a killer for life. Possibly end up in prizon for tax fraud or murder if I get caught.

I'm coming to terms with losing the best person I will ever know because my life is a big fuck up and so are the people in it. When I get home I know exactly what I am doing. Going to my father and telling him I'm fully his now. He can place me wherever he desires in his fucked up mind games. Then tell him I fucked up his backroom at work. I can see him now. He is going to beat the living shit out of me and I'm going to endure every second of it. I'll tell my mom I'm sorry for what I've put her through. Tell Chloe she can be my whore again and Joel and I will be as tight as we were.

Life is one big puzzle and I'm the piece that's missing. Here I am, going to put myself back into position.

Then Jolie's name pops up on my cell phone screen. I miss the call however, I found a way to listen to someone as they are creating the voicemail. I listen and my heart leaps.

Everything I just decided to do, fuck it.