Dark Lust

Jolie

Ciaran pulls out of the lookout and I'm silent. I have so many thoughts running through my head I could throw up. I think I'm dating Ciaran, but I don't know. I know it's up to me to say whether we are dating or not. I look at him. Do I want to date him? The thought scares the living fuck out of me. Having to care for another human being besides my mother and myself is terrifying. I could fuck all this up somehow.

But Ciaran is so fucking georgous. The way the sunlight hits his eyes, I could fall over and die. I'm not sure when I became this fucking sensitive, but let's keep that to myself.

Ciaran asks, "Are we dating?" the same exact time I do. We both smile. He takes my hand and kisses it. "I would take that as a yes."

"I'm already apologizing." I say.

"For what? Stabbing me in my sleep?"

"For being a fuckup and not knowing what I'm doing."

"Have you never dated anyone before?" I stay silent. "Jolie Bian, I am honored to be your first. As long as you stay the same and I stay the same, you don't have anything to worry about."

"So threaten to kill each other in school and keep getting suspended. I can do that."

"I will make sure to never kiss you in public."

A mix of fear and giddiness arrive in my gut. I love kissing Ciaran, but having people watch me is lingering behind terror. I don't want people to know my business. Ciaran senses the fear.

"Hey, I'll follow your lead. You don't want to have public display of affection, I'll tell everyone to fuck off."

"Wow, my hero."

"At least I know I get you all to myself behind closed doors."

We arrive at my house and Ciaran demands to stay here for as long as he can. I must like him considering I don't want him to get the fuck out like I do Flora and Harlan.

My mom comes out of her fortune teller room with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Belinda, we talked about this. You will get permanent frown lines." I throw my backpack on the dining room chair and head to the fridge. Ciaran grinds behind me and I laugh. Now I'm turning into a middle schooler that figured out what a dick was for the first time.

"The school just called me." Belinda couldn't be more unenthusiastic. "Jolie, I thought I made it clear that once you started this school, you were to not get in trouble?"

"It was my fault." Ciaran says before me.

Belinda's eyebrows raise. "How so?"

"I started the argument. She was talking to someone else and I mistook a hand gesture the guy was making and beat him up. I thought he was going to touch her. We started fighting."

"Interesting. What about the part where Jolie left a girl's head bashed open?"

"She pulled my hair. What was I supposed to do?"

"Pull her hair back like a normal girl fight!" Belinda's voice raises.

"Mom, I'm sorry. I promise you I won't get into any more trouble."

"Is it him? Is he causing you to be a school nuisance?"

"No."

"I'm her boyfriend."

I close my eyes, waiting for it. Belinda screams in excitement. There it is.

"Thanks." I annoyingly say to Ciaran.

"If I'm not here to bring joy to the people, then what's my reason?"

"Oh my God! I was trying to be a decent mom for once! I need to know when and how this happened."