My Kidnapper Likes Me

FORTY

"So, you and Ryan are really a thing?" She smiles at me.

"Yes." I still a felt a little defensive but I knew Mack didn't mean anything bad.

"How was your first date then in public?"

"It was kind of awkward. Like when I first saw him after he let me go. He told me he loves me. Not just then, before he left, but before ya know, the dirty." I felt my face get red and laughed to try to hide it. There was no way for me to hide it.

We caught up and I told her how happy I was and she told me how she met someone. I wasn't surprised when she told me the someone was a female because she has always been a go with the flow. I guess that would make her pan sexual. She doesn't care who you are if she likes you she likes you. It's as simple as that when it comes to her. I don't think she has ever had a thing for me but even if she did she can't help it and I'm proud of her.

It was close to midnight when I climbed in bed after making sure Mack got home safely. I didn't get a text or anything from Ryan. He must have forgotten. I couldn't blame him though because he doesn't normally walk into another room he just talks quieter. I send him a quick goodnight text and climb in bed.

The next morning I still hadn't heard anything from him. I still had to deal with work though so I forced myself to get ready and I noticed on the way to work I was looking at every person who passed by me in hopes of seeing Ryan but with no luck. My stomach was starting to hurt at this point and I go through everything from the day before to make sure that I didn't do something to warrant him ignoring me.

I figured I'd give him a few days then call. I had work to distract me today anyways. I sat down and got right to work and Mark walks in an hour later. He was late this time. He was normally always late though so I didn't even bat an eye. I did want to say something t him just to mess with him but I decided not too.

"Sir, you missed a meeting this morning but I rescheduled it for after hours today. Less formal and you can start to relax." I stated as he walked by my desk outside his office.

"Thank you Athea. How is that boyfriend of yours?" Mark asked. He was genuine. I think he probably suspected before the trial. If he did I'm glad he still tried to shoot his shot because if not then he'd never know I wasn't interested in him romantically.

"Um.. he's good. We're laying low until the news crews leave us alone really." I was uneasy because something felt off.

"That's good. I'm glad you found someone who makes you happy."

"Well thank you Mark. You will too you know." I pat his shoulder which causes him to shake his head and chuckle. He walks into his office leaving me with my manuscripts and stuck in thoughts of Ryan.

I called him after I got off and left a voicemail. Then a week went by and still no contact. I was getting little sleep and having nightmares again. I started heading downhill fast and honestly lost a lot of weight because I didn't want to eat. Uncle Chris would tell me he hasn't seen Ryan since the morning of his disappearance. Ray didn't seem to know anything and I was a puddle of tears. No one could tell me anything and I was starting to debate about everything he said to me. Maybe he was lying when he said he loved me. I wasn't sure anymore.

As more and more time passed I started to lose hope in ever seeing him again. I started only wearing his family crest in my apartment. I didn't care if anyone kidnapped me to get him to come back out. I was willing to put up with anything if I just got to see him again. I just wanted to see him again. Mack had to come over a few times and check on me because I fell into a depression and wouldn't get out of bed. My house was getting filthy and my room smelt like a locker room that never got cleaned. It finally hit a year after he left me that I snapped out my senseless direction and decided he wasn't coming back. There was no way he was coming back. If he was it would have been sooner rather than later and I couldn't keep holding out hope he would show back up and I would forgive him wholeheartedly.

I decided that I wasn't going to wait around for someone who can't even send me a text to let me know that he didn't want to stay with me. I would have been so much better off if I told him to stay out of my life. My heart ached at the thought of hating him and I knew deep down I could never hate him. No matter how much I hurt or how much I cried I would always love Ryan Marshall.

"Hey Athea, do you want to go out for drinks?" Mark asks holding his coat. I look at the time on my phone and realize that the day has gone by very fast. So fast in fact that this past year felt like I was drunk. I look up at Mark who actually held me the few times I broke down and actually gave me his office for my safe space to cry in. He's been amazing to me.

"Um, sure. Just us or anyone else?" I asked. I wanted there to be more people but I was okay if it was just us.

"Just us. Is that okay?" His eyebrows squished together and I noticed how cute he was when he was genuinely worried and also not being a boss.

"Yeah. That's fine." I drop my head to hide my face which was turning red from the thought of it being a date. I didn't care if it was. I felt guilty though because my heart and body yearned for Ryan and I know I would never want Mark the same way I do Ryan.

I woke up the next morning in a room that was not familiar but I didn't see anyone else. I look up when the door opens and it's Mark. For a second though I thought it was Ryan. For a split second I thought Ryan came to my rescue last night and I covered my face with the comforter.

"Hey, you drank a good bit last night and you were really upset. I got you put up in the guest room. I hope that was okay." Mark asked apologetically. I knew he would never do anything to harm me no matter how mad or upset he got.

"Yeah." I said and then got embarrassed quickly. "I am so sorry. Oh I hope I didn't do anything to make you uncomfortable."

"Oh no. And I slept in my room. I'm not into necrophilia." He says chuckling. My face reddens and I smile despite myself when I see I was wearing sweat pants instead of my clothes. He must have changed me or given me clothes to change into. Last night is fuzzy and I don't want to remember anything about it because right now there is a perfectly good guy in front of me sitting on the corner of his guest bed waiting on me to talk to him.

My face gets really red from shock and he laughs. "I'm so sorry. Listen you were really upset last night and cried. I don't know everything that happened between you and your ex. I also know I cant replace him but I'm here in whatever way you want."

I kissed him in response surprising him. I may as well take the risk. Ryan was a big risk that could have ended up with me in prison but Mark was a safe risk. He was successful, smart, rich, handsome and he had such a good personality that my family wouldn't hate me for being with him. My mom would likely say something about me sleeping with my boss because it's "unethical" but I didn't care anymore. I was tired of waiting on someone who was never coming back. I couldn't keep hiding my heart because Ryan hurt me.

I pulled back and Mark was smiling like a school boy who was just given candy or told he was going to Disney world. I am so lucky to have a man like Mark in my life. I know I would have a stable home that I'm not left out of the loop due to any activities he does being illegal but I know I will feel guilty for a long time for not giving Ryan more time to come back and explain.