Fear Feast

Drop Dead, Beautiful: Appetizer

Drop Dead, Beautiful: Appetizer

Miser’s Hills was a sleepy little town in the middle of nowhere. The town was actually built on a flat landscape but no one cared enough to question the name. There were more cows than people in Miser’s Hills and there were more crops than cows. Farming followed by dairy drove the town’s economy.

Olive sat in front of the television on the old floral print sofa between her grandparents. Grandpa Jackson was reading the papers and Grandma Ellis was knitting a sweater that Olive would later pretend to love. Olive surfed through the channels barely pausing on any of them. Her grandparents hated that but their eyes were not on the screen so she received no complaints. They were not that many channels to choose from but something caught her eye and she put down the remote, leaning forward in her chair and straightening her glasses.

A tall, broad-shouldered man with very greasy hair came into view. He flashed an unnaturally white smile before he said in his deep radio voice: “Are you a girl between the ages of sixteen to nineteen who lives in dull, old Miser’s Hills?”

Olive nodded and immediately felt stupid for doing so.

“Do you wanna get out of this town? See the world? Go to school abroad on a fully paid scholarship?”

Olive almost shot out of her seat. She nodded again, not feeling stupid anymore.

“Well, then you need to enter the Miss All-That and a Bag of Schnauzer’s Beauty Pageant!” declared the greasy guy. The camera zoomed out to reveal several manically excited women dressed glamorously and all leading Schnauzers on leashes.

“Schnauzer’s Potato Chips wants you to see the world and fulfill your dreams,” said the guy, holding up a bag of chips baring a logo of a cartoon dog licking his lips.

The dogs all began barking on cue and the glamorous ladies jumped up and down, clapping their hands excitedly.

“Here at Schnauzer’s your education and wellbeing are important to us. That is why we have decided to host the our first annual beauty pageant! The winner gets a full scholarship to study abroad as long as she agrees to have our cameras document her first year in college, brought to you by Schnauzer’s. All you need to do to apply is go down to Miser’s Hills’ grocery store, buy three bags of Schnauzer’s, collect your application at the register, fill it out, staple it to your bill and put it in the Miss All-That and a Bag of Schnauzer’s Entry box.”

“It’s that easy!” exclaimed one of the ladies.

“So go on down to Miser’s Hills’ Grocery today and enter!” said the guy with a wink and a dazzling grin.

The girls swooned. The dogs yapped. Schnauzer’s logo appeared on the screen with a disclaimer stating that no animals were harmed in the making of this ad or the chips. The chips, Olive read, were made of Idaho potatoes, locally grown. 

Olive switched off the television and grabbed her car keys. She could not believe she was doing this but she needed to enter that pageant. It was leaps and bounds out of her comfort zone but she had to try. How else would she escape this place? Maybe she would be able to send for her grandparents eventually and they would all be able to live in some marvelous foreign city where there were more people than cows.

***

Nathalie had been painting her nails when the ad had come on. She had smudged one of her nails because of it. She did not even bother to wait for her nails to dry before she ordered her chauffeur to take her to the grocery store. Nathalie rarely frequented the grocery story. Daddy’s people did that for her. She was from the richest family in Miser’s Hills besides the Schnauzers of course. She did not want to win for the trip. She had been everywhere worth going in her eyes. She wanted to win to solidify her reputation as the most sought-after young lady in Miser’s Hills. None of those other girls had a chance. 

She arrived at the store and asked a cashier where the chips aisle was. The cashier gave her a peculiar look.

“There’s only three aisles here,” said the cashier, “Middle aisle.”

Nathalie glanced disdainfully around the tiny store.

“Of course,” she said and she strutted off to the middle aisle. The aisle was packed with every girl in the small town, their arms filled with bags of chips. Nathalie quickly grabbed three bags at random, not bothering to check the flavor. She hated carbs anyway. On her way to the register she bumped into Olive, that dork from her math class. Olive, being naturally clumsy toppled over and dropped her three bags. Nathalie promptly stepped over her, checked out and was on her merry way.

Olive sighed. She got to her feet and gathered her things and checked out. She was not sure why she was even bothering to enter when Nathalie and most of these other girls would easily outshine her. 

Nathalie made her chauffeur take a detour. She needed to ensure that she would win. There were so many girls entering. She could not leave it up to chance. 

The car pulled up to the old rickety house just at the edge of a cornfield. Nathalie got out and made her way carefully towards the porch. She had to step lightly and quickly to avoid her heels sinking into the mud. She rapped on the door. It creaked open of its own accord. Nathalie entered. The door shut behind her. She was beginning to regret telling her chauffeur to wait for her outside. 

A voice came from nowhere, “What do you want?”

Nathalie nearly jumped out of her skin until she looked round and realized a girl had come in from another room. The girl was just about her age but Nathalie had never seen her before. She was dressed all in black and wore very dark makeup. Her long black hair was streaked with white.

“Where’s Madame Rouge?” asked Nathalie.

“She’ll ill. I’m her granddaughter. How can I help you?” asked the girl impatiently.

“You can’t help me,” snapped Nathalie, pulling a  cigarette out of her purse and lighting it with her pink lighter.

She blew smoke in the girl’s face. The girl did not even flinch. She merely continued to stare at Nathalie blankly.

“She’s worked for my father before,” said Nathalie, “We’re regulars!”

The girl sighed and led Nathalie to a back room. She opened the door and gestured for Nathalie to go in ahead of her. Nathalie entered the room and clamped a hand over her own mouth to stop herself from screaming.