𝐑𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝟒𝟏.

She was tired of being ignored.
Her feelings were valid.

"Shaniyah you are making this harder then it needs to be! I'm here now and I'm trying to make up for not"—

"That's it! I don't fucking need you anymore! I'm a grown ass women with kids! I don't need you, where were you when I was so doped up that I couldn't see straight? Or when I was getting my as a eat every other day? Or when dad started running the streets twice as hard because YOU left him with not one but three fucking kids!"

She exploded.

"Get the fuck out of my house."

Next day.

Dejah came to visit and they were watching movies and talking about the old days when things were hard but good in a way.

Shaniyah missed the old her obviously not the doped up one but the one that didn't care, the one that didn't care who she hurt.

The less self aware one.

"I have to get back home because Myles will be calling soon to talk to the twins but Niyah just know that I'm sorry for just disappearing."

"It's fine."
"But it's not, I should've been here."

"No you had your own shit going on and plus I wasn't the greatest friend back then this break was needed. We're back and stronger than ever."

"Well I'll call you when I get home." She said walking away.

- Inside.

"You almost ready for diner?" Shaniyah asked
"Yeh, I'm just finishing this picture."

"Look it's me, you and daddy." She said and Shaniyah felt her heart start to hurt

"That looks amazing baby." She said with a tearful smile, "Mommy?" Serenitie called

"Yes baby?" Shaniyah asked

"Why couldn't the doctors fix daddy? You and nana say that if we pray really hard to god that he'll hear us and I did! I even got all my spellings right like I promised but he still took daddy up to hai castle." She asked looking up at Shaniyah with a confused frown

She chuckled a little.

"We don't get to live for ever baby."
"Why can't we? I don't like being sad."

She said with a pout.

"I don't know but I think the fact that we can't live forever, is one of things that make life so special."  She said, (greys reference)

"But I don't like when people go to gods castle."

"I know but Impermanence is such a beautiful thing, If we could all live forever we'd spend so much time wasting time that we'd loose the ones we love instead of holding on tight while we still can." She said explaining the best she could

"Impermanence? I like that word." Serenitie said saying it completely wrong

"Me too."

"If I could I'd still fix daddy though."
"Me too."

"Well hurry up so we can eat." Shaniyah said standing up and when she went to leave but Serenitie called her again, "Mommy?"

"Mmh." She bummed

"I can cuddle with you like daddy use to and only sometimes give you kisses but not a lot because kisses are nasty."

"Thank you baby." She said feeling herself about to cry, she hated the progress of healing