Love For Life

19. The Truth

For the longest time, Gu Zechuan simply sat on the sofa staring at the unopened envelope in his hands. After God knows how long had passed, Gu Zechuan finally worked up enough determination and opened the envelope.

Inside the envelope, there was only one thin piece of paper, though on it were words written in fine delicate writings all over both sides of the paper.

''Gu Zechuan,

The reason why I wrote this letter to you is to explain and clarify a few things. I don't have much time left, and I don't want to have to leave this world with the relationship between us being as sour and messed up as it is. I know you really minded about man inside that photo, so I will tell you now, of the truth, behind everything. The man in the photo, was my previous boyfriend. He died three years ago in a car crash. At that time, in the same hospital, you were in a critical condition and the doctors and nurses were trying all they can do to sustain your life. At that time, you needed a heart transplant, or you might not have lived to see the sunrise the next morning to come.

He had no family. He was an orphan. And it's at that time that I made an important decision. And that, is to give his healthy heart to you, so that his heart can live on inside of you.

And it's at that time, that I decided that I will walk with you for the rest of my life. No matter how much you hated me, I will never leave you, because the heart that beats inside of you, is his.

Whether or not you choose to believe me, in that fire two years ago, I really was the one who rescued you from it.  And when I got you to the hospital, the doctors came to me with the message that my grandfather was in critical condition, and I had no choice but to leave your side to go to my grandfather, but what I had never expected was that when I finally came back to you, it was Yang Qinglian who was by your side, and you looked like you really loved her. For the longest time I've wanted to tell you, to explain to you, but you won't believe me. That helplessness, that hopelessness, I really don't want to experience it again in my life.

In the days that I was with you, I found that you were exceptionally distinguished. And the little actions that you do, the habit you have, and the look in your eyes, you were so much like him that I began to confuse you with him.

I was lost, and confused.I don't even know anymore, whether it was him, or you that I really had fallen in love with. It was only until very soon before out marriage, that I became certain, that the man I love, is you. It no longer had anything to do with anyone else. The one that I love, is you. But what I didn't know, was how much you despised and hated me.

Gu Zechuan, can you accept me? For the rest of my life, for what little time that is remained in my life, I want to be with you.

Xia He.''

Having read to the end of the letter, for the longest time Gu Zechaun simply sat there and stared at the thin piece of paper, unable to come back to himself, as his mind raced everywhere in all directions and nowhere.

'Xia He, why didn't you explain it to me sooner? Why did't this letter come to me sooner?'

But as soon as this thought came to him, Gu Zechaun laughed it away bitterly. Even if the letter did came to him sooner, would he have believed her even a little bit at all? When she was alive, he never once believed her. Regret began filling his heart, but what could he do about it? There is no cure for regret in this world.

'Xia He, didn't you say that you're going to be with me for the rest of your life? Why did you went on ahead without me?

I will forgive you for loving me because of your love for another man, but I can't forgive you for leaving this world so early without me!'

After finally knowing the truth, tear began falling from his eyes. He never would have thought, that the truth of the matter was that the heart that beats inside his chest belonged to the man that Xia He had loved with all her heart.

No wonder Xia He was so determined. No wonder she endured each and every one of his unreasonable tempers and fits, and remained steadfast to him even when he mistreated her. Because, inside his chest, it was the heart of the man she loved that beat.

Gu Zechuan sat alone in his office for the entire afternoon. He did nothing at all but stared straight ahead at the emptiness before him, as he reminisced of the times that she had spent with him. How she acted, how she looked, and how she smiled at him. All the while, tears dropped from his eyes in a continuous stream, though he took no notice of it.

He regretted. He really regretted. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

'Xia He, can you come back to me?'

If what had happened that day never happened, he would probably still be together with Xia He, in happiness.