✔︎ unrequited flowers | nishimura riki

XIX

 Ni-Ki's more concerned now, lifts one hand as if he intends to touch Ayano, but stops when the girl turns her face away. Ayano can't find firm ground in her thoughts, the touch would make her crumble."Why are you here?" Ayano asks, the question sounding rougher than she intended. She looks up at Ni-Ki for a moment, and even that feels overwhelming. She loves Ni-Ki, she doesn't want to let this feeling of love go.

"Sunoo asked me to check up on you," his voice is small, unsure. He's still looking at the band-aid on Ayano's face. "He said you're sick and that he can't come take care of you and accompany you as always because he's feeling slightly tired." Ayano looked surprised. Why hasn't Sunoo told Ni-Ki anything ? Not even a hint that his husband is dying ?

It's sweet of Ni-Ki to come, but vile of Sunoo to send him. Ayano sighs and walks past Ni-Ki to go sit on the couch, still slightly messy from watching a movie last night, the biggest sign of mental distress in that house. "I'm not really sick," Ayano admits to this only half-truth. "I just needed more rest."

Ni-Ki sits at the other end of the couch, his body turned to Ayano, his eyes still on her face, though he tries to go for Ayano's eyes and not the big throbbing bandaid hiding something from him. He's like a cat that just found an insect, he won't let it go until the object of his curiosity is dead. Or, in this case, uncovered.

"Because of that?" Ni-Ki points at the bandaid, and the girl lowers her head at the question. Her heart is beating so hard in her chest that she thinks that flowers are gonna come out of her mouth. It doesn't seem all that unlikely given her current situation. Ayano takes a deep breath. Sunoo sent Ni-Ki over there so she could get this over with, and it's the only option she has, truly.

"Are you doing well with Sunoo?"

Ayano stalls, asking nonchalantly. The answer doesn't really matter. Ni-Ki clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes. "He's a little bit weird. Why are you two acting all flustered and shaken when I'm around ? I need to know right now and today." Ayano's eyebrows pinch at the middle as she stares at Ni-Ki in confusion, waiting for her to tell the story, which she most certainly won't.

Ayano starts pulling the sleeve of her shirt, after thinking for a moment about which flower spot was the least gruesome one right now. Ni-Ki's eyes feel heavy on Ayano as she clumsily tries to show him her arm. Ni-Ki needed to get a hint.

"Sorry Sunoo, I need to distract him from you. I will make your favour happen."

Ayano teared up at the thought of revealing her illness before Sunoo to Ni-Ki. There's a small bud poking out, one she chose to remove some other day. Ayano deserved to not inflict any more pain on herself after how much the one on her face had hurt, rooted so deeply he could feel it throbbing close to her hairline. She rolls her lips in, and builds the courage to look up.

Ni-Ki's jaw is dropped, and his hand rests delicately on his collarbone, something he does when he's nervous. The boy was staring back at Ayano, not at the plant growing from her arm, not at the band-aid hiding another spot, but at the girl's eyes. Ni-Ki moves slowly, sitting closer. He holds Ayano's hand gently, and his eyes have drifted to the band-aid. Ni-Ki lifts his hand to Ayano's face, slowly so she can stop him if she wants. 

Ayano closes her eyes, feeling nervous when Ni-Ki starts picking at the corner of the band-aid, and it's then that Ayano notices that Ni-Ki's hands are cold. He murmurs another 'oh' when the wound is exposed, and it takes him a few seconds to say anything.

"Does it hurt?"

Ayano looks down at her own hands. The lack of an answer, a sign of any kind, feels worse than keeping it in. "Sometimes," she replies quietly. It wasn't different from any other type of love, except that others could see it. "How long?" His voice is quieter and it's nice, like they're under the blankets again talking nonsense as they watched movies in Ni-Ki's room until the first hours of the morning where nothing is complicated.

"A few weeks, I don't know."

It was definitely longer than a few weeks, it has almost been two years.

Ni-Ki squeezes Ayano's hand, and the girl turns to look at him in time to see her shocked expression turn into indignation when she furrows her brows.

"Then why did you fucking push me away?"