Surfacing

Chapter 8

Okay, it's definitely been a lot longer than I meant it to be since I last updated. I'm sorry about that. This will be the final chapter. It is after all a short story. This has been my first story on Wattpad and I hope you guys enjoyed it. I will definitely be writing more stories and I'll also be venturing away from short stories too, even into fantasy/fiction/romance etc. I've really enjoyed writing my own story as much as I enjoy reading all of yours. Thank you so much for reading and the support I have gotten from people has been great so thanks to you guys too, you know who you are
Catch you guys later,

Chaz x

Life is good. Life will be fantastic. These are the two things I have been repeating to myself constantly. I have a loving family, a very close relationship with my best friend/cousin. Beautiful house, my children love their school, we have lovely neighbours......yet, I still need.....something.

I have not yet found that inner peace. I need to go and see him. The man that was ripped, so tragically, from my life. Who, apart from Rachel, knew everything about me since childhood. Matthew. Oh, dear sweet Matthew, my best friend, confidante, third member of our little group. It was your death that started my downward spiral. I had never realised it. My therapist, Maria, she finally fixed me.....kind of. I still need to talk to you, one last time. I feel that will give me what I am looking for....that piece of me that still remains out of reach.

The gates of the graveyard have always looked creepy to me. I stand looking at them in the fading light for a few minutes before entering. It's peaceful here, well tended too. After a minute or two I reach his grave, I stand silently for a time just looking at the headstone. Such little detail, it would never truly describe what a wonderful, caring person he was. Matthew would do anything for people, he was just so....good. "Oh Matty...." crying, I lowered myself to the ground in front of his grave.

"Matthew,  I'm so sorry I haven't been to visit. I haven't been myself for so very long now. I feel I am on the way back though Matty,  that's why I had to come see you." Sniffling, I continued..."That day was the worst Matty,  I wish I had've been home when you called. Maybe I might've been able to do something." Crying harder, I started shouting...."They took you from us Matty!! They killed you...and for what?! A FUCKING WALLET!!!!"

Slumping down toward the ground, sobs wracked through my body as I finally let myself grieve, as I finally let go of all the poison eating away at me.....as I finally said goodbye....to my baby brother, my twin, Matthew.

I returned home to my family with a new spring in my step that hadn't been there before. I had spent a long time in the graveyard by my brothers headstone. It had started to get dark and quite cold before I was able to leave. After crying until I had no more tears left in me, I began to talk. I told him of everything I had went through these last two years without him and I told him about how our lives had changed and almost been ruined by it all. I told him how much his niece and nephew had grown and how well they were doing. I just poured out everything and anything. I just wish he would've answered back. Silly, I know but, I just couldn't help wishing.

Leaving I had felt lighter than I had in a long time. More hopeful that I really will have a better, happier life from now on. I promised him I'd return more often. After today I'm certain it helped. "I'm home!" I called entering  the house. Two sets of footsteps came thundering down the stairs followed by heavier, slower ones. Arms flung around my waist by my son and daughter..."Mom I missed you!" "Where were you Mammy?!"...were what I made out amongst all the yapping they were doing.

James came over, slinging his arm around my shoulder and whispered in my ear "you okay love?". I looked at him, then at our children. When I raised my eyes back to James it was with a smile on my face. An honest to God, genuine, smile. "I am the most okay I've been in a long, long time James." The smile I received took my breath away. "Thank God for that." He replied and kissed me quite firmly, his mouth melding with mine. Smiling we broke apart to a chorus of 'ewws' and 'gross'. Laughing we took them into the kitchen for a snack before bed as it was quite late.

I stopped at a picture of Matty as they continued on into the kitchen. "Thank you Matty, I know you're watching over us. I can feel it. I'll miss you, everyday but, I can finally be happy again." Placing two fingers to my lips, I kiss them and place them on his picture. "I love you brother." With one last smile at his image, I turn and walk toward my husbands outstretched arms. He had came to see where I had went to but didn't intrude on my moment which I was thankful for. As his arms encircled my waist, I put mine around his neck and pulled him in close, resting my forehead against his. "I love you James." Smiling, he kissed my forehead. "I love you too honey." Turning, we walked together to where our children where trying to make sandwiches and arguing over who had the tastiest filling. Joining them, we jokingly got in on the argument which led to a house full of laughter. A heartfelt genuine laughter that I hadn't had in a long long time.
Life is good.....Life will be fantastic.....finally.

*The End*