An Indescribable Feeling

Unfinished Business

Before he left, Anna asked Jungkook if he had a USB stick she could borrow and then fiddled about on his computer. There was probably a more technical way she could do what she was planning but sometimes old school was just easier.

Then she made her way to Yoongi's studio. First, she knocked, but when there was no answer she let herself in. Her soulmate was nowhere to be found. In fact, the room looked exactly as it did the last time she was in here and it was a mess.

Either he hasn't been in here since then, or he's been working amongst... this.

With a sigh, she began tidying up. Anna wasn't always the tidiest person in the world, but this was ridiculous. While she cleaned she thought about what she was going to do next.

Her soulmates had provided her with a way to begin a journey that she never thought she'd get to go on. What would taking this opportunity mean? Would it be worth it? Sure she would get to perform, to sing, to make music, but what about all the other stuff: the photos, the press, the lack of privacy. Would she be able to handle it? Her soulmates seemed to think so.

The question was, would she be able to live with knowing what she could have had if she had only tried. Try, that's what Jin said she needed to do. She could sing, and now she could dance. Everything else would come with practice. The only thing left to worry her was other people's comments.

It was easy to say she should just ignore any negativity she would receive. Just don't read them. But we live in a digital world and there was no way she would be able to hide from it forever. Unfortunately, Anna was someone who took any little criticism personally and let it haunt her for the rest of her life. So, the only thing left to worry about was her mental health.

When she finished cleaning, Anna text Yoongi to let him know she was waiting for him in his studio and then she sat in his computer chair to wait. Anna chose his chair, rather than the sofa, mainly because she liked the feeling of sitting in the genius producer's chair, but she also thought it might be a little more intimidating for him to see her in his chair.

Anna didn't need the extra scare tactic. Yoongi had never felt more nervous than when he received the text from her, and his hands shook slightly as he tried to open his studio door. The rapper gulped when he saw her sitting in his chair waiting for him. He looked down at the floor when she stared up at him. He knew he looked worse for wear. Although he was a lot better than when she saw him this morning.

"How are you feeling?"

Yoongi raised his head in shock and blinked rapidly before managing to croak out an answer.

"Better. Thank you."

Anna got up from his chair and stepped forwards so she was standing right in front of him. He felt frozen as she stared into his eyes. He barely even noticed her resting her hand against his forehead until she was brushing his hair back into place. Why is she smiling at me?

"I'd like to listen to those songs you were talking about."

"What?"

The rapper didn't know if it was his hangover causing his brain to work so slowly, or his surprise at how Anna was acting was causing him to not understand what was going on.

"The songs you wrote for me. I want to hear them."

"But... But they're not finished. I... I told you there's something missing."

"You don't want me to?"

"No! It's not... I mean... Of course, you can."

Anna stepped out of the way and let him sit down in his chair. She stood behind him, resting against the back of the chair while she watched him open the correct files. Secretly, she was thinking that she enjoyed having this power over her soulmates.

When he played the first track, she vaguely recognised it as the track he had been working on the first time she had been in his studio to deliver him food. She couldn't believe that he had been writing it for her. It was amazing, and she could imagine it being the perfect ballad for her to sing.

Then the next song played, and it was just as impressive. For the third song, she had to sit down. Her hand rested against her chest, as she stared blankly ahead. Anna tried her best to focus on the music, and not think about what it meant that Yoongi had written all of this just for her. Not just for her, but with her in mind as the artist performing them.

She felt emotional. She felt unworthy. But most of all, she felt honoured.

After the final track finished, the pair sat in silence for a moment. Anna wiped away a few stray tears before calling out Yoongi's name to make him turn around and face her.

"Why? Why did you write all this for me?"

"Why not?"

"Yoongi."

"Because... Look, I didn't start out with the plan of producing an album for you. At first, it was just a song. Not even a song for you, but inspired by you, by your voice. And then... well it just took on a life of its own. One song became two, and then three, and then Namjoon said how you wanted to be a singer. And I thought I had the perfect selection of songs for you to sing, to be your first album. If you wanted."

"But you could give these songs to someone else, anyone else. Someone who's, you know, already an Idol."

"It wouldn't feel right. They're yours now. Only yours."

"And if I never debut?"

"Then they can be just for us to hear."

Anna stared at him expectantly, but Yoongi wasn't sure what she wanted him to say. After a minute of silence, he spoke again.

"I was against it. You becoming an Idol."

"Why?"

"I wasn't sure you would be able to handle it. It wasn't being an Idol exactly, but the lifestyle that comes with it. The attention, the comments... It's not easy to deal with."

"And you don't think I could cope."

Anna nodded. Finally, one of her soulmates was telling her exactly what she was thinking.

"I didn't, but I do now."

"What?"

Yoongi leant forward and took her hands in his.

"You could do it. I believe in you."

It felt like hours passed by while Anna repeated her soulmates words in her head.

When she came back to reality, she pulled one of her hands away from his and reached into her pocket. Anna handed Yoongi the USB stick.

"I have some ideas for what might be missing from your songs, but I think you should listen to these first."

"What is it?"

Anna smiled at her soulmate.

"I've been working on some songs too."