Emma Crawley (Downton Abbey Season 2)

Chapter 7 - Decisions

'Of course,' said Emma, giving a reassuring smile, 'Maybe in a different life, we would be together.'

'Maybe,' said Philip, 'I know I would never find another woman like you.'

Emma held his hands and said, 'Thank you, Philip. You really are one of the people in my life I hold dear to my heart. I wish you all best in the world, where-ever you will be.'

'As do I. Farewell, Emma.'

Philip adjusted his hat before walking down the hall. He stopped and turned to Emma.

'Just promise me something.'

Emma blinked and said, 'Anything.'

'Tell him how you feel. I can guarantee he loves you back. I know love and I know he still in love with you.'

Emma nodded and Philip gave a nod to her and he walked out of the hall and he got into the car that was waiting outside for him. Emma closed her eyes and listened to the car drive away in the distance, her heart withered as she thought of misleading Philip and she hope she could be forgiven for leading him to love her when she couldn't fall in love back.

It was rather strange to sit back into the drawing room after dinner as it had felt like a lifetime ago, they had done so, it was unnaturally quiet without the chatter and laughter from soldiers. Maybe it was only Emma, as everyone else was acting like it never had happened. She sat silently staring blankly at thought of how much had changed and she knew it was never going to be same ever again.

'I nearly came down in a dinner jacket tonight,' Robert said.

'Really? Why not a dressing gown? Or better still, pajamas?' Violet said, chuckling at her son.

'That's why I didn't.'

'I like the new fashions. Shorter skirts, looser cuts. The old clothes were all very well if one spent the day on a chaise lounge,' Isobel spoke, 'but if one wants to get anything done, the new clothes are much better.'

'I agree, it's a nice change to be a little different,' said Emma, snapping back to reality.

'I'll stick to the chaise lounge.' Violet said defiantly.

'Granny, you don't really want things to go back to the way they were, surely?' Sybil asked.

'Of course I do. And as quickly as possible.'

Sybil turned to Robert and asked, 'What about you, Papa?'

'Before the war, I believed my life had value. I suppose I should like to feel that again.'

Everyone looked at Robert with sympathy. Emma remembered her father was excited to serve again, to find his purpose, only to realize it was false and it would never happen again for him. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Sybil looked put out. Only then she realized that Sybil had found her purpose, but it was gone. Emma wandered what was next in store for her.

'Have you seen the boys' haircuts the women are wearing in Paris?' Mary asked.

'I hope you won't try that.' Matthew replied.

Emma saw there was a fleeting look on Mary's face and Emma broke the tension.

'I like it, although I value my hair being long.'

'So do I.' James said.

Emma glanced at James and he gave her a small smile and she noticed a twinkle in his eyes and Emma blushed, luckily the light from the fire didn't show how red she was.