In Her Shadow (ACOTAR)

Chapter Sixteen: Thawing Out

Sleep didn't come easy that night, in fact it was utterly impossible, Isolde finding herself tossing and turning all night, too hot and then too cold, her magic bubbling under her skin as though being here in this house was igniting it. Or was it being around him. Their interaction from hours ago plagued her mind, and she could still feel his eyes on her, still feel his gentle touch.

Finally she pushed the blankets off and stood, looking around the room until she found a shawl, slinging it over her shoulders and opening the door. She peered out into the hall, but all was quiet in the house so as quietly as she could she crept out of her room and shut the door behind her.

The hallway wasn't as long as the one at the Mountain Palace and it led out into the main area of the cabin. Before her was a large wood-panelled room consisting of a kitchen to the left, a living area with a leather sofa covered in furs to the right. She slowly walked around, letting her fingers run over the furs, her eyes catching on little paintings dotted about the room.

At the threshold of the front door were clusters of icicles that melted into the first shoots of spring, then burst into full blooms of summer, before brightening and keeping into fall leaves. As Isolde made her way around the room she saw someone had painted a ring of flowers around the card table by the window, and leaves and crackling flames around the dining table. On either side of the fireplace were a great pair of Illyrian wings and the main window was framed with a waterfall of golden hair, very much like Mor's. Three pairs of eyes were painted above the threshold to the bedroom hallway and down the side, so very different to the rest of the art were hastily drawn stick figures.

Isolde put a hand over her heart, tears welling up in her eyes as she stared around this cabin, this home. This was a place where a family gathered, nothing but love in their hearts. A safe place, somewhere for them and only them. It was lived in and familiar and nothing like what her life had ever looked like. Even before they came to court, their parents had seemed... scared of her brothers and all their time together was spent training or learning to be perfect ladies of Valhallan to someday serve the king.

She had never had anything like this.

With her hand still clutching her heart, feeling as though it was about to break in two, Isolde rushed to the door and yanked it open, stepping outside into the snow. She stumbled forward, the icy wind blowing her hair wild around her head and looked up to the stars, her tears cold on her face.

"Who have I angered?" she sobbed. "If anyone is listening please tell me what I have done, why I deserve this?"

There was no answer but the wind around her and the rustling of trees. She closed her eyes and tipped her face to the sky, trying to remember her parents' faces, trying to remember all the moments she and her sister had shared. Every late night trip to the kitchens, or ball they'd snuck away from. Every injury they'd nursed for each other, each time they'd lay together and cried for the life that the cauldron had given them. Cried for the brutal treatment from their brothers, cried for parents who seemed too scared to protect them. Cried for a king who saw them as possessions.

"Help me," she whispered. "I can't do this alone anymore. I don't want to do this alone anymore,"

And somehow out of the darkness, she could hear her mothers voice, like those rare nights when she had sung her two girls to sleep.

It felt so odd but she closed her eyes and sang,

"Sleep well dear heart, the night is still

The sun is gone but not for good

Your heart is strong, as is your will

And light will come again"