home.

Chapter 5

Next three weeks were completely ordinary. Classes were running normally. I liked my job, it was peaceful for me to be in a room full of books and silence. Work wasn’t hard, just setting books back in the shelves after students had read them and library was almost always empty apart from a nerdy girl and... Ryan.

Since the day one of my work, I saw him sitting there, just reading his book. Mostly it seemed like he didn’t notice me at all but twice maybe, I caught him looking at me so I smiled and to my surprise politely or wave my hand in a hi gesture. I was missing my best friends so while I was rearranging the bookshelf, I called Monty and connected headphones.

After four rings he said “hey! What’s up?” I felt comfortable after hearing his cheerful voice “I am missing you a lot. I feel so left out here, Monty...” I whined like a baby. “Hey! Hey! I am here for you, don’t worry and if things are not working out there then just call me, okay?”  

I was crying by that time, trying not to make any sound so no one in the library or Monty could hear me. When I didn’t reply he repeated “okay?”

“yeah..”  I said but my voice cracked and I knew that he knew I was crying. That was the problem. Normally I was a good liar but when it comes to people with whom I feel comfortable, I just couldn’t lie.

“no, no, no don’t cry. Hey, please don’t cry. You know when you cry I desperately want to hug you but you’re so miles apart. Damn it.” I laughed at his annoyance. “I’m not crying now, trust me" we talked freely for a while about anything and everything.

“Actually there is something I wanted to tell you.” I said “I’m listening” he said patiently. “so, about three weeks back I... met this guy and he looks really good according to his nature but I am always too much comfortable with him all of a sudden, from the first time I’ve seen him, I was as comfortable with him as I am with you, Grace or Alex. Its terrifying. And if you know me you’ll definitely know that it takes ages for me to be comfortable with someone. And for past two weeks and six days I’m ignoring him pretty badly.”

He listened to me patiently and then said “well he sounds okay and if he makes you feel comfortable then you should not ignore him.” I was a little glad at his permission. He’s my best friend, of course his opinion matters. I disconnected the call and turned around.

Ryan was standing there staring at me concerned. I cleaned the almost dried tears from under my eyes. I smiled. “hi" I said. He took a step closer and he was just a feet away. “are you okay?”

he asked in his smooth velvety voice. I chuckled and nodded cheerfully. “come on, my work time is over. Let’s go to cafe... or if you want to read more, you can.” His face lit up and said “I’m going with cafe idea" we both walked side by side, a feet away.

He opened the door for me and I smiled at him. We both ordered at the counter and then sat on a two chaired table. It was a small table, his hands were resting on it and if I rested mine too then our hands would have been touching each others. I was surprisingly calm but a little butterflies were in my stomach.

He looked really nervous. “what’s up?” I asked just to break the ice. “hm?” He asked as if I had interrupted his train of thoughts. I rested my elbows on the table. He looked at my hand or neck for three seconds and his neck turned red.

What was he thinking that made him embarrassed?

I noticed he was wearing a high neck sweater, he always wore a kind of shirt which hid his neck. Why?

“What happened?” I asked. He shook his head and fingers through his beautiful brown hair nervously. “why were you cry-upset in the library?” he asked hesitantly with intense hypnotic gaze. I couldn’t stop staring for six or seven seconds, I looked away and shook my head to clear it. He was still staring. “no, I wasn’t upset" why did my voice crack now that I’m lying to him?