Learn to Love Again || Loki X Reader

Part Two

You

What if? There were so many what if's. 

What could have been? There were so many of those too. 

You had found yourself missing Loki. You really had loved him, and now that he was gone, you missed him. Even with all the lies, he had grown on you. 

And you don't know if that made you love or hate him. 

A part of you wanted him to come back, even once, just to say goodbye once again. You felt like everything was heat-of-the-moment, and you found yourself having regrets about how it turned out. Even with Amy's advice ("ditch him for good- you're too good for him, queen!") you weren't sure how to really think. After all, Loki was the God of lies. He wasn't the good of plants, or light. He was the God of lies, and mischief. How could you really know if anything that he said was truthful? 

Even the part where he loved you. Was he really being honest, or was all just a lie like everything else? 

Though you had suspicions about Loki's true nature, the fact that you met a God was still leaving shock in your head. You hadn't had the time to process it yet, and it was all coming back to hit you now. You met a God. An actual God. And he had (possibly) loved- no, still loves you. You didn't know how to feel about that. A part of felt happy, a part of you felt frustrated, and so on. It was a tumble of emotions, all fleeting through your mind at an incredible rate, not staying long enough to truly hit you deep in the chest. Everything felt surfaced, and fake. 

You felt fake. And it was all because of Loki. 

As you lay on your bed, you decide to just sleep. At the moment, you couldn't do much else. At least not for a few days. You have work on Monday. Thankfully it was only Saturday. 

Loki

"She feels all of these emotions because of me? How interesting," Loki mumbles. He's currently outside of your bedroom window that you had forgotten to pull the blinds down on. At the moment he was disillusioned, so even if you looked him directly in the eyes, you wouldn't see him. And you couldn't sense him either- you didn't have a bond with him, and nor were you magical yourself. One day, however, he would love to have a bond with you. Usually the thought or mere notion of marriage would make him disgusted- who could live with just one person? But now that he'd seen you, marriage didn't seem so bad. 

At the start, he had wanted to break you. You were a carefree spirit, who even though had seen some tortures of the world, still continued to blossom and live as happily as she could. Loki had seen that and had felt like absolute shit. Who could truly be happy with their lives? And that was why he had resolved to break you.  

That was until he started to know you. You weren't perfect. Far from it. And you weren't happy, either. It was all a façade, to turn people away from knowing the real you. But he had managed to worm himself deep into your heart. At least enough for you to unravel many secrets. 

Admittedly, Loki had many regrets in his life. Ones that he learned to live with because he couldn't change the past. What's done has been done, and we'll leave it at that. No point thinking about it now. But this... this feeling, was all new. Loki felt an immeasurable regret when he left not even too long ago, and sought to fix it. This was something that he could surely fix- he had many tricks up his sleeves. He felt a surge of determination in knowing that this was salvageable. Most things would sadly be out of his control, but this time he had the cards. He would create his own path with the woman in front of him, and remove one extra regret from his life.