An Indescribable Feeling

Proving You Wrong

As he watched her dance, Hoseok noticed some small differences compared to their original choreography. They were deliberate changes and as he thought about it, he realised that the new moves fit Anna better. She had changed the dance to suit her style. By the end, Hoseok was almost crying he was so proud.

After having lunch with Hoseok, who spent the whole time talking about how impressed he was with her version of ON, it was time for Anna to go to Namjoon's studio. She didn't want to, but she reminded herself of what had happened this morning and she knew she had to sort this out. That didn't mean that the thought of having a serious talk didn't freak her out though.

When Namjoon let her into his studio, she could instantly tell that he had been tidying up. Anna wanted to make a joke about him cleaning just for her, but she was too nervous. So instead she sat down on his sofa and tried not to fidget.

"How's Yoongi?"

"He's fine, a lot better after he purged himself."

"Purge?"

Namjoon made a throwing-up gesture and Anna wrinkled her nose.

"I had an interesting talk with Jin this morning."

"Anna, I..."

"Look, I understand why you did it. What I don't understand is why you thought it was a good idea not to tell me about it. This wasn't some surprise, it's a life-changing event. Knowing that I wouldn't agree to it, and still doing it anyway makes it so much worse!"

Namjoon took a moment to think before he began speaking.

"You admitted to me that singing was your dream, that if you could do anything that is what you would want to do. We all wanted you to be able to do something you love, and we know you feel the same way about music as we do. We realised from the moment we met you that you longed to perform, but you were scared, terrified really. Since then you've come into your own. I know you don't believe that you're good enough, but you are. I know you are, and I thought that with a bit of training you would believe you are too."

It was hard to hear. Anna knew her soulmates only had good intentions and it made it hard to stay mad at them. What she was truly struggling with was deciding whether she wanted to continue with their plan.

"I wish I could. Four of you have told me today that I'm good enough, that I can do it if I want to. Why do I find it so hard to believe you?"

Anna wasn't talking to Namjoon now, she was just voicing her thoughts out loud.

"Back when we were on Tour, the night we had our first proper group talk, you said something to me..."

"What did I say?"

"You said no one would ever be able to love you because you couldn't love yourself."

"Oh."

"Do you still think that?"

Anna's first instinct was to say yes, but if she did that then she was calling her soulmates liars every time they had told her they loved her.

"Do you still think you need to love yourself before you can be loved by others?"

Namjoon wanted to say yes, but then that meant he was saying Anna couldn't be loved yet.

"I think it's a good idea to love yourself first, but as with everything, there are always exceptions. Sometimes, someone might need the love of others to help them begin loving themselves."

This line of thought was too much for Anna to be thinking about today, on top of everything else.

"I think this is a conversation for another day."

"Okay... So, do you forgive us? Do you forgive me?"

"Luckily for you, I'm a very forgiving person, but I don't forget. I forgive you, but that doesn't mean this is all over. I still have three more soulmates to talk to."

"Thank you, and I know, and I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Communication is key in a relationship. If I've learnt anything from watching romantic movies and reading love stories, it's that communication could stop a lot of problems from happening. I know that I'm not the best at it, but I have been trying. Whereas you all have ten years of experience more than me. You've become efficient at sorting out your problems by talking them out. Yet, you decided to keep this big plan you have for me a secret."

"And it won't happen again."

Anna smiled slightly.

"I know. Tae told me you all promised not to keep secrets anymore, but is there anything else you want to tell me? Last chance."

She wasn't sure if she was expecting there to be anything, but she got a little nervous when Namjoon looked guilty.

"Um, I got you the job here so that you would be closer to us and we could see you more."

Inwardly, Anna sagged in relief, before rolling her eyes.

"I know I'm naïve, and come across as a bit of an idiot at times, but even I had realised that already."

Namjoon blushed a little and they both laughed.

"Who are you going to talk to next?"

"Jimin and Jungkook."

"What about Yoongi?"

Anna pursed her lips thinking about the rapper that, in a way, had started this whole mess.

"Oh, I'm leaving him for last."