Magicblazer Oneshots

I Do

The attendees laugh, and the priest cuts in. "Is this—"

"You still want to be fucking paid after this, I suggest you shut your arse up an' let the goddess speak."

I smile, not necessarily at John and continue. "So, I come out after the applause had ended and sit down next to Dinah, who tagged along to my show and was sitting next to the hot blonde asshat. She complimented me on my show, the usual, and then once I order my drink, the little asshole bartender calls me a whore. Dinah tries to fight him before I stop her. I try to pay for it myself like a normal person, and then you, for some reason pay for my drink, give me the change, and I thought to myself, maybe he's not so bad. Then you proceed to call the bartender a bloody prick in true Constantine fashion. You hit on me, the usual, give me a nickname despite not knowing me for more than five minutes that still hasn't gone away. Dinah, being the very, very protective best friend and wingwoman she is, threatens to beat your ass. It's quite funny, actually, that she tried to beat your ass. Her and Oliver met the same way. Few drinks later, I find out that you're from England and an amateur magician. End of the week, we were in bed together. Best choice of my life, even if I didn't realize it at the moment. Somehow, you end up in the bed of Nick and me, and stayed there until we both left because he was becoming obsessed. Four years and three messy breakups later, you kill my dad. I didn't speak to you for months, and that was the hardest fucking thing I ever did. Almost a year later, Batman needs both our help for some apocalypse, and I reluctantly agree to find you. Ups and down for a few years, whatever. Fast forward to last year, in the middle of fighting some apocalypse, you just pull a ring out of your coat and propose to me right before we get our heads singed off. You literally say, Hey, Zee, want to marry me? and then proceed to use said engagement ring to shoot a ball of fire at some asshole that wanted to kill us. Weirdest engagement proposal I've ever had, and it most definitely worked," I say with a chuckle, taking my ring off for a second and levitating the enchanted ruby and diamond ring. "Here's the actual vows now." I put the ring back on. "John Constantine, I fucking love you. Despite everything, I love you. Through the many breakups, makeups, and hookups we've had, one thing has remained the same, and that, that is my love for you. Every damn time I wanted to slit your throat, I was reminded of the good and practically perfect times that we had, despite the darkness and nightmares that we've encountered. I promise to stay by your side. I promise to try and help you in any way possible. And finally and most importantly, I promise to listen to you and to honor any deals you made with demons that you intend to keep, meaning that you probably promised your firstborn kid to abo. Now, to the rest of you, this might seem a little strange, but, look who you're talking to. John, I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

I kiss him on the cheek and motion for him to start, and he does. "Shite, that's gonna be hard to pass up. Oh, an' on top of that, it's probably gonna be a shit lot shorter. Still gonna try, though. When I saw you, I... it was like everything else around me just stopped. When I saw you for the first time on that bloody stage, I... the whole world just ended. I was complete. You put a spell on me. Totally worth that $9, even though I did jus' use some paper I found on the ground an' enchanted it, which turned back into paper five minutes after we left. Still worth it. When Nick almost killed us, every breakup, every makeup, every damn time you and I said "I hate you" to each other, well, bloody hell, even when you didn't talk to me for months, I loved you. Still do. To death, an' definitely even beyond that. For that time, I wished that we would be together. I looked at past pictures of us every night. When you showed up at my door in the middle of the night, I couldn't have said yes fast enough."

I smile at him, and it's a genuine, sweet, on-top-of-the-clouds smile.

"When it comes to you, I swear to the bloody man himself, I'm always going to believe you, stay by your side until some arsehole or the bloody fags will take me away. You're a fucking goddess, remember that. I'm always going to be thankful as fucking hell that you chose to stay with me despite all the times that I fucked up and nearly killed both of us. After some mind-blowing orgasms, when we're laying together, I just think about how damn lucky I am to be with you. I think to myself, how the bloody fuck did a goddess like you end up with some arsehole like me? Truth is, I don't know. All I know is that I love you, so fucking much. I truly want to spend the rest of my time on this Earth with you. You're gorgeous, and well... I didn't expect to ever get married, especially to someone like you. So, I... I thank you forever for choosing me over anyone else."

He takes my hands in his and smiles at me. "I thought you did good for doing that on the spot," I commented under my breath. "Jus' doin' what I usually do."

"With these exchanged vows, John Constantine, so you take this woman, Zatanna Zatara, to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

"Fuck, yes." I roll my eyes. "And do you, Zatanna Zatara, take John Constantine to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, un—"

"Fuck's sake, mate, can I jus' kiss her already?"

"I better get paid well for this," the priest mumbles. "Don't worry. I'll see to it."

"Alright, then, as I was saying. Do you take John Constantine to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," I respond normally, slipping the enchanted artifact onto my neck as a choker instead of the normal ring we decided to do.

It's some power-enhancing gem that would really help both of us in battle.

And John has something of the same sort, except he actually had it on a ring.

"With the power vested in me, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife."

"Been waitin' for this one all day, Love," John confesses right before he dips me down, kissing me deeply.

Once he brings me back up, I see someone out of the corner of my eye.

It's just a small glimpse, but a glimpse nonetheless.

It's my dad...

"Daddy..."

"Goin' like that already?" John asks with a sideways smirk. "No, you fucking creep, it's my actual dad. I just- I just saw him."

"What the bloody hell?"

"Guess he wanted to see me on my wedding day," I shrug and then smile because cameras start flashing.

I turn to John with a smile and he kisses me again. "I love you, you know that?" I ask after we pull away for a second.

"Oh, I know. Almost everyone does, Love," he responds with that damn smirk of his that made me fall in love with him in the first place. "I still can't believe that we finally did it. I wasn't lying when I said I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I wasn't either, Love."

Then some bastard teleports in the middle of the venue.

"Ah, fuck me."

"That's for later, Zee."

"C'mon. We've got some bastard to deal with," I tell him, already igniting sparks of magic in my palms and changing into my fighting outfit. "EVERYONE, OUT! ALICE, STAY HERE!" I yell before charging straight at the asshole who just ruined my wedding day.