Madame Williams ( teacherxstudent )

46

Sarah walked me to the bathrooms that were inside the hotel and then she closed the door when we got inside, "Take some deep breaths, Dee."

"I feel like an awful person." I said. I went to the nearest sink and washed my hands, then laid one of my cold hands in the back of my neck to cool down a bit. It didn't help that I felt a bit low energy today.

Sarah walked up to me and caressed my upper arm, "Are you alright?"

"I don't know." I shrugged my shoulders. I wanted to cry, scream, break something, or just curl into fetal position and take a nap. I was tired, I was confused and everything seemed so complicated all of the sudden.

"You're just getting stressed over a little mistake, just relax."

"Don't tell me to relax, please!" I snapped.

Sarah took a step back and nodded her head, as if she understood there was no remedy to this crisis of mine.

"Fuck, Sarah... I'm sorry. I'm in deep shit, you know? I'm a mess lately, my emotions are everywhere and I feel like I'm sleepwalking all the time, like I can't quite get to touch reality."

My best friend stared at me awkwardly, as if she didn't know what to say to make it better, and I certainly didn't know either.

I took a deep breath.

"Okay, we'll get over the ceremony, we'll take all the damn pictures the photographer asks for and then we'll go home. Do you want a Xanax?" Sarah said determined to get through this evening.

I sighed, "Give me two."

*

She had caught my sight. Lou had seen me across the event tent. She was sitting about ten rows behind Sarah and I. I muttered a 'sorry' to her, hoping she could read my lips, but her emotionless face looked away from mine almost immediately.

"We should stay for the party." I said to Sarah, who was fighting her sleep next to me.

"Hm?"

An old lady shushed us from the row behind us, but that didn't stop me to repeat what I had said.

"Stay?!" She almost fell from her seat at the suggestion.

"I want to talk to Lou." I said.

Again, the old lady shushed us and said something about the vows being said. I rolled my eyes.

"We don't give a shit about any catholic ceremony, we're lesbians... and I was raised by a couple of hippies." Was all I told the old lady before I shat up and turned to look to the bride and groom in front of me.

The party was mostly a bunch of white rich people, and I swear the only people that were not American were three of the waiters. I was on my fourth champagne, the bride was having a dance with her father, and I had finally spotted Lou alone from Allie's company.

I decided to leave Sarah stuck in a conversation with a couple of her annoying cousins about why 'straight people should have their own pride'. I walked to those blue eyes that made me melt in the coldest December day and with very small confidence I tried to grab her hand.

Lou pushed her hand away and her eyebrows frowned into a look of slight anger.

"What are you doing here?" She practically spat at me.

She was only a few inches shorter than me, but apparently my height wasn't going to intimidate her today. "Sarah invited me. The groom is her brother."

"Right..." She looked away, then back to me and with her angry eyes she said; "Sarah invited you. Ah, wait, you didn't tell me that." She was going to walk away but I was faster and I took a step to the direction she was going to escape to.