NCT Imagines ambw

Coffee (Mark)

I stirred her coffee and put it on the tray with a bowl of mixed fruit and a cup of water.

"Here you go, Y/n". I placed the tray down on the night table.

"I'm going to go practice now. I'll be back in a couple of hours. If you need anything please text me". I knew she wouldn't. She wouldn't text. She wouldn't call.

I kissed the top of her head, then her cheek.

"I love you, Y/n" I said.

Y/n grabbed my hand, squeezed it gently and let go. She still didn't look at me but this was the most interaction we had in weeks. I smiled.

"Anything else I can get you before I go? You want the tv on? Your phone hooked up to the speaker so you can play music?" I asked, hoping for a little more.

"Coffee" was the last thing she said.

I sighed, kissed her head one more time and went to practice.

*Time Skip*

I was driving home from the store. I decided stop and get Y/n's *insert favorite flower here* so I could put them in the room with her. Maybe she'd watch them sometimes, give the wall a break.

I turned up the radio. I was playing *insert favorite upbeat song*. I remember whenever she was happy or something good happened she would play this song and dance with the biggest smile on her face. She wasn't the best dancer but that made it even more fun to watch. When I laid down at night I would hum this song softly hoping to calm her or get her to get up and dance. I hummed it for any reaction I could get, honestly.

I pulled into my neighborhood when I saw red lights illuminating it. As I drove closer to my house the lights got brighter. Y/n.

I pulled up to my house and got out of the car. I was going to run into my house when I male paramedic stopped me.

"Excuse me, sir. You can't go in there." he said moving me back.

"I fucking live here. Where is my girlfriend!? Y/N!!!" I screamed past him. I tried pushing past him but he pushed me back.

"Get off of me!!! Y/N!!!!" I called for her again. A woman came out from behind him.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"I live here. Where is my girlfriend? What's going on?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"Mr. Lee? Come here". She walked into the living room, I followed.

"Please have a seat".

"Where is my girlfriend?" I asked about to snap.

"Mr. Lee, your girlfriend called us and told us to come before you got home."

"Why?"

She sighed. "She was in a crisis. Mr. Lee I'm sorry but your girlfriend took her life".

"When?". She flipped through the papers she had in her hand.

"She called us at 2:30 pm" she said.

That's 10 minutes after I left. I should've stayed home, I knew I should've stayed home or even brought her with me.

I sniffled. "We're going to take her body to the coroner's office just to make sure there were no other underlying issues" she said.

"I'll be there. I just need to wait a little bit" I said standing up.

"Take your time. I'm so sorry for your loss" she said. I nodded and went to go to the room.

"Oh, Mr. Lee. This was left for you" she pulled a baggie out of her pocket. It held a piece of paper.

"Thank you" I said taking it.

"You're welcome and I'm sorry again for your loss" she said walking out, closing the door behind her.

I opened the baggie and took the note out.

Dear Mark.

Did they come before you? Did they come before you saw me? I didn't want your last image of me to be the mess I made. Though how I've been the last few weeks isn't the best image to leave you with either. I'm sorry I became a hollow shell of myself. I'm sorry I shut you out and never let you know what was happening. You did everything you could for me and you did everything right. You weren't the problem so don't blame yourself. I love you, Mark Lee.

I had winded up walking to our bedroom while reading the note. Everything was where it should've been, no sign that anything had happened in here. Even the tray I had made still had the fruit and water on it, the coffee was half gone. I didn't know what to do, normally I'd go to Y/n and give her a kiss and talk to her even though she didn't react. I would tell her stories of the things we did in the past just so she kept those thoughts with her along with whatever she was battling inside. I would also tell her goals she set for herself and goals we set together to help keep her going. I know she said not to blame myself but the doubt will always be there.

I looked on the floor on Y/n's side and noticed her favorite sweatshirt was on the floor, I picked it up and smelled it. It smelled like her perfume, her favorite one. She convinced herself that if she wore it everyday it would become her natural scent. I laid in bed and held the sweatshirt close to my body.

I wasn't ready to go see Y/n yet. To see her lifeless body, the body that would never be back in this bed. The body that was never going to be warm again, only getting cold as time went on. I needed my last memory of her to be alive.

I simply laid here.

*End of Flashback*

That was only 4 months ago.

None of this got easier with time. Y/n's family winded up coming to help me clean out some of her belongings. If it wasn't a childhood memory they left it here and I haven't touched anything of her's since they left. They also flew Y/n back to *insert hometown* for her funeral. I went and made a speech and even visited her family a couple of times after that. It was hard not to let her passing consume me, skipping out on sleep and not eating. All these questions running through my mind and the only one that stood out? Why?

Yuta's shaking my shoulder pulled me back out of my thoughts.

"Mark". Yuta waved his hand in front of my face. "Anything I can get for you?" he asked.

The only thing I wanted was Y/n. The only thing she wanted?

"Coffee".

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

a/n: That's all folks. This did make me a little teary eyed towards the end. Even though it was dark I think this is one of my favorites.

Until next time.