Repeating Apologies (A Johnnie Guilbert Fic)

Bonus Chapter: The Memory

"This is the memory, this is the curse of having too much time to think about it"

*Johnnie's POV*

I get back to my hotel and let out a big sigh the minute I walk into my room. What am I even doing anymore? It's obvious Skye's life is way different now. Better maybe.

"You okay dude?" Kyle walks out from the bathroom.

"Yeah I'm fine. I guess..."

"You guess? What happened with hanging with Skye? Thought that would've boosted your spirits."

Kyle David Hall was an up and coming YouTuber. Bryan had got in touch with him to help him with his YouTuber career, just like he did with me. This time I was there to help him out too. We soon became friends and convinced him to come along to Playlist with Bryan and I. But first, I asked him to come along to this trip to Baltimore. I needed the support. He was the only friend I could trust with all this and I had told him everything that happened between Skye and I. I even told him what happened yesterday when I went to her house. From her telling me that she had a boyfriend to Adri punching me in the face.

"Well we did hang out...except...everything's so different. A lot has happened in a year."

"What did you expect? A year is a long time. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you planned this whole thing out."

"I know. But I don't even know if this is a good idea anymore."

I walk to my bed and lay face down. Obviously frustrated of the whole situation. Of course I want Skye in my life again. Even if that means having her as just a friend. But everything's so different. Skye isn't the same girl I met back in San Jose. Scared to open up to anyone and afraid of being herself. No. Skye...she seems stronger. Happier. Despite everything she went through in the past few years, she pulled through all of it. She became stronger and pulled through to be where she is today. But I can't help but feel that she became a better person once I was out of the picture. She said so herself, I did cause her a bit of stress. I did take part of her getting sicker. Even if she said it wasn't all my fault, I can't help but think otherwise.

Kyle sits down on my bed and pats my back. "Cheer up man. It was just the first day you got to actually hang out with her after a while. I mean, it's just the beginning. Things are pretty awkward, but it'll get better. I'm sure of it. I mean the way you talk about her, I'm sure she's a great person. Too great to let her go again that easy."

He's right. For once. I just have to hope for the best and that things will get better. Then again...what will her boyfriend think?

"Don't you think her boyfriend will get mad or something?" I ask, hoping for an answer.

"Well I mean, maybe? If I had a girlfriend, I know I would get mad if she was hanging out with her ex."

Not the answer I was hoping for. I finally sit up. "Maybe I should just stay away for a bit. You know, let this day settle in and all. I mean it did get awkward at the end." I recall that awkward moment. "I mean we do have a few days before we head out to New Jersey, anything can happen."

Kyle shrugs and walks to his suitcase on the other side of the room. "I don't know man. You know I'm no expert in relationships and whatever. Now come on..." He pulls out his camera from his bag. "...let's film some videos!"

After a few hours of filming, we managed to film a video for our channels and our introduction video for My Digital Escape. It was really late and Kyle decided to call it a night. As for me, I had some editing to do. The most stressful part of being a YouTuber. Knowing that it's been a week since the last video I uploaded is freaking me out! I hate that I don't get out as many videos as I want to, but editing is a pain! Not to mention I procrastinate and take most of my editing time replying to people on my social media accounts. One thing I never get tired of. After a while I finally decide to start editing. I open my folder and start to look for the footage I filmed before I left for Baltimore. I'm scrolling through it, too tired to even see clear anymore. Too tired to notice that I reached the bottom of the folder, and that's when I see it. It's footage for a video I filmed a while back but never got out. I open it and start to watch.