Jin Se

Chapter 24

King Cui said through gritted teeth, "I'll give you an additional ten stones of provisions, General Gu...."

But Shi Wuduan, as if King Cui hadn't spoken, turned his head to Gu Huaiyang, "Eldest brother, what was that shanty you guys used to sing, back during the famine? I'll sing it for the King's amusement, it went something like 'the foxes leave their homes, starved to skin and bones'....."

King Cui's anger flared. He slammed his hand on the table, making the dishes clatter.

Gu Huaiyang slapped Shi Wuduan upside the head and scolded, "How can you be so ill-mannered before the King?"

Shi Wuduan looked at him blankly, then looked at the king, then paused before saying, "Oh - I was just thinking I'd sing a little something since the king here doesn't have any minstrels."

Gu Huaiyang reprimanded, "Stop talking already, just stuff your mouth with food."

Shi Wuduan blinked at him and said pitifully, "I'm too full."

Gu Huaiyang glared at him, "If you're too full, eat slowly. You're forbidden to speak!"

King Cui was going to lose his temper as well, until Cripple Zhang furtively tugged him under the table. He stroked his beard and said, "You know, my king, ten stones of grain is indeed a bit insufficient for General Gu here, how about giving them ten more stones?"

Shi Wuduan poked at the bowl with his chopsticks and said dejectedly, "Eldest brother, I really can't eat anymore, my stomach's turned into a ball already. You know, king, advisor, there's no need to be so generous, setting out all this food. Cause when people have too much to eat every day, they tend to get lazy, and once they get lazy, they don't want to get up and do anything anymore. For example, they can't be bothered to rebel anymore, or work under a rebel leader anymore, or...."

King Cui ground his teeth, "Thirty-five stones, and that's final. It's not even that far away, the provisions will only slow you down. Once you've secured Guji, your comrades will deliver supplies."

"Of course, of course," Gu Huaiyang smiles, "You're too generous, my king, very magnanimous. It's as they say, those who accomplish great things don't sweat the small stuff. You're sure to achieve great things and leave your name in the history books one day!"

His flattery had hit the mark. King Cui's expression smoothened out a bit, finding General Gu's words rather agreeable.

Yet Shi Wuduan shook his head and sighed. As soon as King Cui heard him make a noise, he felt his innards cramping again. He'd just planned on pretending not to hear when Shi Wuduan said, "Eldest brother, the king has such high hopes for you, you'd better not let him down!"

Eh? Did he actually say something sensible? King Cui looked doubtfully at Shi Wuduan.

Shi Wuduan continued, "But what if we don't manage to break Guji's defenses? I've heard that the King of Guji is tall as a small pagoda and that he makes the ground tremble when he stomps, and that he's got eyes big as bronze bells, a face like a tiger, a big bloody maw, and the whiskers on his face impervious to swords like they're made of steel, and is scary enough to make babies stop crying in the night..."

Cripple Zhang interrupted him with a cough, "If you've got any more concerns, young hero, feel free to bring them up."

"Oh." Shi Wuduan paused, drank a small cup of wine, "I heard the king has a few catapults with great accuracy and craftsmanship, I was wondering if we could borrow them. It's as the saying goes, wine gives courage to cowards. Cowards like us have got to bring a few of them to the battlefield to feel secure, and that way we won't lose face for the king."