Simply Being Tori

Chapter 1- As Good As It's Gonna Get

I stared at her. Well technically I was staring at myself but you get my meaning. Wait maybe you don’t? To be honest I don’t really care. Maybe I do?

Why am I asking questions?

“Why are you talking to yourself? Though there is that saying... ‘Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness’ my bet is that you are turning mad.”

“Shut up doofus! I am perfectly normal thank you. Ask my science teacher. He knows all about my mentality.” I replied sharply.

Oh just to make things a bit much more understandable I am talking to my twenty five old sister. Yeah I know. Oh. My. God. She’s a twenty five year old woman who should be living indeptendly in her own flat or whatever old people live in when they hit their twenties. Oh and the other thing I have to get clear to you about my sister is that she is the definition for chav. No lie. Her slang is like a daily newspaper being arrived every morning but in Sheena’s case it’s every bloody second of the day.

Back to 2013 people.

I looked at Sheena’s reflection. I made a face at her. She responded by snorting like a pig and muttering under her breath, ‘raggie’. I huffed and rotated until I hit a spot where I was facing Sheena.  “Sheena bugger off please and shove your little ‘Geordie slang’ up your arse. Now go give me some privacy...chav.” She sniggered uncontrollably and started twisting her finger at the side of her head. My guess was that she had drank a bottle of Star before she got up here.

I sighed. There was no use staying up here any longer. Sheena had plopped herself in front of my laptop and was busy chatting on Facebook to her friends about this new hairspray that apparently made your hair dye itself into  any colour you asked in your mind.

That girl is just so gullible.

I looked at my reflection once again. I was wearing a black tank top, white skinny jean effectively ripped, zebra style scarf, beanie and zebra designed converses. I had straightened my hair and added some eye liner around my eyes and heavy mascara.

I huffed then sighed.

“Well Tori this is as good as it’s gonna get.”  

I grabbed my GOLA duffel bag and slammed my bedroom door. I ran down the stairs but hesitated when I saw my dog Muffle waiting at the bottom of the stairs. There’s two things you have got to learn about the morning Muffle.

1.   He has a bit of a craze of peeing on our carpets or wooden floor in the morning instead of his potty bowl. (Don’t ask why)

2.    When he starts getting angry the only thing that calms him down is when he sees clothing. When that happens he starts drooling.

Number two was slapping my face.

He was drooling. On the day I decide to wear something that shows off my assets- not that I have one ( I think)- he starts drooling and wanting to eat my clothes! I backtracked up stairs but it was too late. He had seen me.

His drools were making an appearance.

Oh no. Why me God? I’ll go to church every single Sunday and I’ll start feeding the homeless! I’ll drown myself under the pool at ‘Sports Is The Way’!

It was as if a bomb was ticking until I saw my brothers beautiful and heavenly face.

I think I can hear the Angels singing...

Jaden.

“Oi Jaden!”

He took a double take then snorted.