Without Jaxton (Loving Jaxton Book #2)

maybe - chapter 8

*Let me start by saying we know Jax is an asshole, Jax knows he's an asshole, Rylee knows that Jax is an asshole but, he's an asshole that loves her. So instead of drawing out the inevitable this is happening very soon and you shouldn't hate me! They are my characters, and if you don't like them then kindly leave!*

Rylee's POV

The next morning I wake up not knowing anything about my emotions. I cried myself to sleep last night and the first thing I woke up to this morning was a text from Evan wishing me a good day and he hopes to see me.

But I can't lead him on when I don't feel the spark with him that I thought I didn't have with Jax anymore, but I do. Sex with Jax yesterday, it made me realize that I still love him and he's still the only man that I've ever really loved that way and it hurts me to know that I can't move on from him.

I knew he was the love of my life when I married him, and it hasn't changed. He's still that, and I hate that he's still that. I wish I could give Evan what I want, but I can't. He's so sweet, and he'd be perfect, easy to love, but he's not Jax. He's not the dad to my kids, he's not the man I married, and I hate that I'm still a lovesick puppy over how much Jax means to me.

Slipping out of the covers that still smell like Jax, I go take a shower before Kurt wakes up yelling for me. I change into my scrubs before making the kids cereal bowls and waking them up. They change and get ready for school as I keep myself together long enough for them to make it to school before I wave them off going to work.

When I get to work the first thing I do is get to my office and sit down. I'm still sore, my vagina is so sore, I forgot what it was like having sex with Jax and I know why I kept coming back for more each time. It's because I loved this feeling, and I still don't mind how I'm reminded of him every time I move my legs.

I'm scared out of my seat when my phone rings drawing my attention. When I look at the caller ID I know exactly who it is and I wish I didn't. "Evan, Hi" I answer immediately.

"Hi, I missed you yesterday, everything okay with the kids?" he asks as I sigh lying my ass off. "Yeah, never better. Just dandy" I lie palming my forehead.

"Right, so umm, can I take you to lunch today?" he asks as I sigh. "Listen, Evan. I really like you, and I think you are amazing, but I can't do that. I just don't think right now is the right time for a relationship. Not with everything going on with both our lives individually" I spit out as his line of the phone goes silent.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asks. "Yeah, I like you a lot Evan, please don't get mad and I'm sorry if you feel like I've lead you on but, emotionally, I'm just going through a lot right now. I'm sorry." I whisper out.

"That's alright. I'll see you soon, Izzy still wants that playdate this weekend" he tells me as I smile. "Great, bring her around five friday night and I'll make cupcakes" I tell him as he laughs.

"Thank you so much. For everything, I needed someone to talk to and I really appreciate you." I tell him. "No problem, I'll be here when you're ready RJ." he tells me hanging up as I nod. I slip the phone from my ear with a heavy hand as I place it down.

That man would have been so perfect, and so easy to love, I know he would have given me the world on a gigantic silver platter. But, he's not Jax, and I'm so fucked up in the head that Jax is it, he's all of it.

And I don't know what to do anymore.

___

Jax's POV (picks up after sex)

I roll over reaching for Ry when I shoot up feeling the empty bed beside me. Rubbing my eyes I look over and see a small indent onto her pillow with the sheet thrown across my lower legs and nothing else. Not my wife, her scent, or her clothes.