Without Jaxton (Loving Jaxton Book #2)

five years - chapter 1

*WELCOME BACK to part two! Here we go!*

FIVE YEARS AFTER EPILOGUE 2 (LOVING JAXTON ENDING "AND I'M LEFT WITHOUT MY HUSBAND FOR FIVE YEARS...") WE'RE PICKING RIGHT AT THE END OF FIVE YEARS.

Rylee Jane's POV

It's her eighth birthday. She's so big. I don't know what happened to my baby girl.

Maddie is officially eight, and it hits me when I'm placing the candles on her birthday cake wiping my tears away. I can't believe it's been eight years since I had her, and I can't believe that it's been five years since she's seen her dad and me together. And I hate that for her because she's amazing and I love her with my whole heart and she deserves to have a real family.

So today's not only big for her, it's big for me too. I'm sick of still legally being married to her father when we can't look at each other or stand in the same room. We haven't really spoken since the day I broke down dealing with my depression and he left.

He never understood what happened to me and neither did I. I felt broken and I didn't know why and to this day I still don't know why. I broke down that day, and I broke down every day for a year after that. Until it was every other day for a year, then once a week.

And Jax never came back, he never did. I thought he would come back home and tell me how sorry he was but he didn't do that. He gave me his home to raise the kids in, then he moved into a smaller townhouse in the city. But he never came back and that broke me too.

So now, I'm finally ready to move on. I'm sick of being sad, I've got beautiful children and I don't regret them at all but I'm so sick of feeling like a shell of Rylee. That's why today's a big day, I've contacted a lawyer and I officially have divorce papers for Jax to sign. I've finally got the guts to take off my wedding ring and band, leaving them with the papers. Jax and I never took off our wedding bands, I guess it was the only way we still were connected. But now I don't need to be connected to him anymore not with anything besides our kids.

I hear Maddie's little feet along with Lance as I turn in the kitchen and see them running in. Lance tackles my thin legs as I laugh and kiss his head. I lost thirty pounds after Jax left me, and now I've lost ten more, I weigh less than I did when I was in college. I'm bones, and it's because I was depressed for years, but I'm not anymore.

Or at least I think so, I just take anxiety medication like candy.

Lance laughs as I rub his back. Lance is the best little guy ever and he's so much like me, but when he comes back from seeing Jax I see more of his dad in him every day. The same even goes for my five-year-old, Kurt Jaxton after his dad. But Kurt is Jax, all Jax. Even at five, he's a splitting image of his dad, and his little giggle is something that I know Jax used to sound like.

"What are you doing?" I ask bending down to his height. I push his brown hair back as he holds my ripped jean-covered knee. "Mama when's daddy coming?" he asks as I smile at him.

"I think a little later. Baseball or Football today?" I ask as he nods at both. He loves baseball and football and he loves playing it with Jax. And being there for our kids is something Jax and I never compromised on, we both just knew we weren't going to be shit parents.

"Why don't you go play upstairs while I get everything ready for Maddie's party? All her friends will be here soon" I tell him as he nods. He whispers back in my ear, "Can I have a cookie?" as I laugh and nod. I pull one of the bakery cookies out of the container and hand it to him in a napkin before he runs off leaving Maddie with me. I stand back up opening my arms as I hug her.

"How's it feel being eight?" I ask rubbing her brown hair as she smiles. I used to think she was marked by Jax and I still do, but now, I think she's more like me, or how I used to be before I got hurt. She's with me most of the time and she really is a mini version of me. Sure, she's still a daddy's girl but she loves me too.