Without Jaxton (Loving Jaxton Book #2)

talk - chapter 6

Rylee's POV

Thankfully today I didn't have to work. Which means I woke up this morning and took the kids to school so that I could clean and do laundry. So when lunch time rolls around the whole house is spotless and I've already started packing up the moving boxes with seasonal items that I know I won't need.

Evan understood when I canceled on him last minute, but in my defense I told him that Jax and I had to talk about the kids and what we're going to do regarding them. Not us, this isn't about Jax and I. This is about our children only.

Jax pulls into the garage and uses his key to get into the backdoor when he sees me packing up boxes of pictures frames off the wall. He looks too good today, I know he just left the gym because he's in a black tank that shows off his chest and arms, with a black hat on his head and athletic shorts that hug his ass. I know he's had side pieces while we've been apart, there's no way he hasn't. Not when this is what he looks like daily. I don't have a problem admitting that he's attractive, I fell in love with him, I do find him handsome, but I also know my self worth. It's worth more than a beautiful man that crushed me.

He looks at me and smiles but I don't know why. I'm in a align tank that shows off a little of my stomach along with high waisted shorts and slippers. My hairs in a bun and I've brushed my teeth and washed my face today, that's about it. I knew I had a lot to do with the house so I didn't bother looking good.

"Hi." I tell him as he makes his way into the kitchen and opens the fridge. He grabs a bottle of water and starts eating the apple slices as I roll my eyes. I don't fucking care, he bought it with money that he puts into my account for the kids.

"Ry don't pack your shit. This house is yours and you know it." He tells me as I laugh. "No it's not. I just live here. I'm leaving, you built it you can have it back." I tell him as I finish the box I'm on.

"All I have is peanut butter and jelly stuff so you can have that for lunch if you want." I tell him pointing to the bread and peanut butter before I take a seat at the barstool with him standing at the counter in front of it.

"You wanted to talk. So talk make this quick." I tell him crossing my arms. He then looks down at the divorce papers I put on the countertop. He stares at them before opening the drawer and throwing them away as I roll my eyes. He then proceeds to make a sandwich on the pink plate that belongs to Maddie as he starts talking. "So divorce huh?" he asks opening the bread.

"Yes" I answer back as he smiles. "We aren't getting divorced" he tells me proceeding with the jelly as he spreads it across the other piece of bread. He does it while he continues eating the packaged apple slices like nothing is wrong at all.

"I want a divorce" I spit out a staring into his eyes. "And I don't" he tells me as he places the bread together and takes a bite.

"Let me ask you this, if I wouldn't have left you, do you think we'd still be happy?" he asks as I look down at my hands. "Maybe. I don't know" I answer.

"Yes, the answer is yes." he tells me as he continues eating. "What does this have to do with anything?" I ask as he takes another bite, eating over half the sandwich.

"I fucked up" he tells me wiping his mouth as I laugh, loudly. "You think?" I ask as he glares at me.

"It was five years ago and I'm over it now. I don't want to argue about this or ignore each other anymore. It's done, so please let me move on." I beg as he finishes eating and takes a sip of water. He cleans his hands and the plate before looking up at me ready for this conversation.

"Ry, I know I messed up. I didn't know what walking away did at the time. I really fucked up everything I had with you and I'm sorry. I didn't know how to handle my own shit, and I felt like a fucking failure when you weren't okay. I can honestly say that I tried my hardest after our first major fight over Lance, when I promised you that I'd do better. I tried, I felt like doing everything would make it better but then you got pregnant with Kurt and I couldn't handle it. I just felt like I had my wife back, and then, Lance came along fucked it up, then Kurt fucked with your emotions even more. I regret that day with everything in me and I mean that." he tells me as he stares at me. And I know he's not lying because I've always been able to read him.