Of Waves and War

32: such is my tale of woe

Eulises

"You don't have to carry me everywhere you know."

"But I get to," I said, my face pressed against hers, as I carried her into our room. I set her on the bed before locking the door and lying myself, next to her.

"You're very strange sometimes," she said, smiling though, as I tugged her on top of me. The house was quiet. A lazy afternoon with just gold light drifting through the white curtains.

"I'm thinking."

"You're never not thinking," she said, putting her fingers to my cheeks.

"No, that's true enough."

"Why am I being kidnapped then?"

"I missed you," I said, kissing her lips, "I thought of you every minute I was away."

"Eulises, you were  in town for the afternoon," she laughed, lying on top of me all the same, our faces aligned. Her body small and easy in my arms. I traced a birthmark on her shoulder through the thin fabric of her dress, then ran my hand down to her stomach.

"I know, but still," I worried about the pregnancy. So late comparatively and so quiet. We hardly felt the baby move. And we'd never conceived before, not specifically for lack of trying. We didn't mind not having the child. But even so. Why now, so suddenly? And she was so ill at first. Perhaps I worried for  nothing, as I often do. But I still didn't like leaving her. I had dreams of her bleeding out from it, or the baby being still born and me having to tell her that and hold her while she sobbed for a dead child.

"We are fine, so long as we have each other," she said, putting a hand to mine over her stomach. "I feel fine."

"Good," I said, putting my face into her neck a moment before kissing it.

"Tell me something," she said, frowning.

"As you will?"

"Truthfully?"

"I'm out, done, ridiculous that you don't trust me, your husband, who would not lie to you—,"

"Shut up, tell me something," she said, grinning.

"Fine," I said, because we both knew she knew my thoughts as well as I did.

"Did you have anyone else before me?" she asked, a hand on my chest.

"Why ask me that now?"

"I don't know."

"I'll answer in a question because you won't have any cause to believe a simple yes or no. Is there anyone you can fathom that I would possibly trust enough to be like this with, or to even tolerate to spend time around, for any length of time that does not involve mere trickery?" I asked pleasantly.

"You have me there," she grinned, laughing, "All right, fine."

"You're not required to believe me you're not required to believe anything, but I do need you to know I only like you. I'm very used to and fond of you, because you're the rest of me that's missing, and I'll always need you here," I said.

"I'm so tired; keep saying your fine words," she said, shifting to lay next to me, "You know I like them."

"I do yeah and you'd better because they are not going to stop at all. You're too perfect not to be worshiped constantly," I said, kissing her cheek as she closed her eyes.

"There, I think I felt something," she moved one of my hands back to my stomach.

"Hmm, too busy plotting probably to move around a lot," I said, rubbing her stomach, swollen as it was. I couldn't rest my head on it anymore by then, not to sleep, she was sore and moved all the time in the night which meant that I also had to move all the time.