Better Than He Can (Camren)

Page V

“What was all that about Camila, why did you…why did you say we were engaged?” She finally plucked up the courage to ask.

Camila stayed silent for a moment then shrugged. “If you say you just got engaged or are on your honeymoon you get loads of shit for free, everyone knows that.”
And with that Camila sped off towards a stall selling tacky Notre Dame keychains.

Lauren wasn’t sure what answer she had been hoping for, but it definitely wasn’t that.
She was immediately reminded her of those TV game shows where the contestant has just lost miserably and the host tells them what they could have won.
That’s what this felt like.
Camila was literally dangling everything Lauren ever wanted right in front of her before snatching it away again, taking another little piece of her heart with her. But this wasn’t a TV show and Lauren was done fighting for the prize.

-

By the final day in Paris the tension was as boiling point.
The two girls had been as each other’s throats for the last two days, ever since Lauren had decided she was done with playing Camila’s silly little games.

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’RE BEING SO MOODY. I’M TRYING TO HAVE A GOOD TRIP LAUREN, BUT YOU’RE MAKING THAT REALLY DIFFICULT.” Camila shouted, just inches away from Lauren’s face. They had been getting ready to go out for their final evening in Paris when everything had kicked off.
Over what, neither of them could exactly remember.

“Moody? Are you fucking serious right now? I brought you to PARIS Camila, you’re so fucking ungrateful.”
Lauren stepped in closer, refusing to back down from the brown eyed girl that usually had her wrapped around her little finger. “Plus, you’re the one who’s been acting weird this entire trip!”
She added, voice filled with venom.

“How have I been acting weird? Please enlighten me.” Camila spat back.
They were so close now that Lauren could feel the younger Latina’s heated breath tickling her lips, it was making her head spin and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to slap her or kiss her.
Ok that was a lie, Lauren knew she wanted kiss the life out of the small brunette right now, and the fact that Camila still had the ability to do that to her, even when she was this mad, somehow made her even angrier.

“I DON’T KNOW CAMILA, MAYBE ALL THOSE GUYS YOU’VE BEEN FUCKING HAS MESSED WITH YOUR BRAIN CELLS.” Lauren shouted before she even had a chance to fully consider what she was saying.

Camila’s face dropped “What, what did you just say?” She said in a tiny voice.

Lauren sighed. “I didn’t mean that Camila. I’m just frustrated.” She added, trying to backtrack.

“Well that makes two of us.” Camila stepped away from the older girl putting some space between them, her eyes were filled with hurt.
It took all of Lauren’s strength not to pull her back in.
“This isn’t how I thought this week would be. I thought we would…” Tears began to fall from Camila’s eyes cutting her off from her sentence.

“Hey, hey stop. It’s ok. Come here. I’m sorry”. Lauren hushed, pulling the younger girl in to embrace her.

“I’m not ungrateful Laur, I promise you I’m not. I’ve just missed you like crazy and I want to enjoy my time with you without fighting every damn second of the day. We never used to fight.”
The younger girl sniffed, wiping her tears on her friend’s shoulder.

Lauren knew she was right, the entire trip had practically been ruined due to their petty arguments, and most of which had been caused by the fact Lauren just couldn’t handle her emotions around her once best friend, everything was far too confusing.
“Listen Camz, we still have one more night left in Paris. Let’s just try and put everything behind us for tonight and make it perfect, ok? We can have fun like old times.”

Camila looked up at her with a sad smile. “That’s all I want.” She replied.

-

Forgetting everything that had happened recently turned out to be easier than either girl thought it would be and they very quickly slipped back into their old rhythms as they tried to salvage what was left of the trip.
They were both on their best behaviour, acting like the friends they once were, rather than a dysfunctional couple that were close to breaking point.

The two girls spent the evening eating an exquisite three course meal on a boat as drifted down the Seine River, the twinkling lights of Paris floating by them. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by the younger girl how much her friend must have spent on all of this, Lauren really had planned the most beautiful trip for them.
This made Camila even more annoyed by the fact she felt like she was constantly messing things up and agitating the older girl in some way.
It was a far cry from the hopes she had had for their time away together. She wished things between them hadn’t changed, but she also knew it was her fault they had.

As they sailed passed the illuminated Eiffel Tower, the younger girl wanted nothing more than to reach out and take Lauren’s hand, she inched it closer.
Things like that used to be ok for them, but to Camila it seemed like any contact she made with Lauren these days made the girl’s skin crawl.
She retracted her hand again, placing it on her own lap so she could make sure it wouldn’t subconsciously wonder, it seemed to have a habit of doing that recently.

Camila’s hesitation didn’t go unnoticed by Lauren, she’d been watching out of the corner of her eye as the girl reached out to her, only to retract her hand again moments later.
She hated that her reactions to her friend this week had made her too nervous to even touch her.
They used to hold hands without even a second thought about it.
Fuck it, Lauren thought, this doesn’t have to be a big deal, suck it up and hold her damn hand.
And with that she reached over to Camila’s lap and entwined the girl’s fingers with hers.

“I know this week hasn’t gone so smoothly.” Lauren said in a hushed voice. “But there’s still no one I’d rather be here with.”

Camila turned her head slightly to look at Lauren, biting her lip to stifle a small smile. “Same.” She replied simply.