Chapter 6

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Chapter 6

Tru sat in a trance like state on the couch. Carisi sat in front of her on the coffee table; his eyes fixed on her, analyzing every aspect of her. Checking for any hair out of place. His brow furrowed with worry as he tried to pry words out of her.

"Tru, what happened?" He asked again. "Will you just answer me?"

Tru took a deep breath and forced the words out of her mouth, "I saw him again."

"What?" He shot to his feet, "Just now? He was in our house? What happened?"

"Not in our house, downstairs." Tru said.

"That's twice in one day, that's not a coincidence," Carisi was talking a mile a minute as he began to pace the floor. The newspaper he had been holding in his hands was being twisted so tightly Tru thought it might rip in two. "I'm gonna call his parole officers and get him sent back to Rikers."

Tru didn't respond, she wanted to, though. She wanted to tell him everything Carson had said, and the threatening way he said it. But she didn't want to get Sonny any more worked up than he was. Or even worse, get his hopes up about a baby that was probably all just a figment of Carson's imagination. But still, as she sat there doing the mental math, she realized it had been a while since her last menstrual cycle. How could she not have known that? Carisi looked over at her, noticing her silence—the worry across her face.

"What is it? What happened?" Carisi was rambling now, "Did he do something to you? If he laid one hand on you, I will kill him."

She felt like the room was spinning, Sonny blurred in and out of focus. She blinked a few times, forcing herself to focus on him, "It was nothing." She stood to her feet, abruptly, too abruptly and she felt like she could just fall back onto the couch. "I'm going to bed."

Sonny creased his brow in confusion, "Tru, what's goin on here?" He asked, "What aren't you telling me?"

She turned back to face him, physically and mentally exhausted. She didn't have it in her to have this conversation right now. "Look, Sonny, I've had a very long, hard day. I just want to go to sleep." She said, then quickly added, "No, scratch that. I need a shower...then sleep."

"Tru—" Sonny started, but she held her hand up in protest and continued to walk away.

A million questions plagued Sonny's mind, he wanted to know what happened. What was wrong? He wanted her to open up to him like she always did, and why she felt like she couldn't right now. But he didn't do any of those things. He just watched her walk away. He threw the newspaper that he was holding in his hands across the room, and it scattered into a dozen pieces. He sunk into the chair, balling his hands into his fists. He heard the squeaking of the water pipes turn on as Tru started her shower.

Every time they talked about Carson, Tru felt the need to submerge herself into a shower, or cleaning, or organizing. Something, anything that made her feel like she had some control over life. She thought he didn't notice, but he did. He noticed it all, and he felt powerless to help her right now. He wanted to help her regain her sense of control, that is what it all boils down to. She feels like her world has spun out of control. He just didn't know how to help her right now.

Men like Carson Goldberg didn't change. Sonny had been on the job long enough to know that. When Carson raped Tru, it wasn't about sex. It was about power, control and obsession. He was obviously still obsessed with Tru, he made it a point to "accidentally run into her." The power struggle was this there over the control of Tru's thoughts, happiness—her life. They were right back to where they started.

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