Bucky Barnes X Y/n: I hate you, I love you

Chapter 1

Once the commotion happened, the door opened as I ran out and headed to the door, the women talked about, but before I could take it, I saw something metal in the reflection and looked back to see a bank vault door opened as people with long white trench coats stood in a circle around something and without thinking, my feet hovered over as I shook my head.

'He knew me', I heard a voice say as I saw Pierce hover over them and the next thing I saw was him screaming when the big metal plates hung on his face.

Before I could do anything, I was suddenly pushed to the door by a force I didn't understand and the next minute I know I'm outside.

________

I ran and ran until my legs gave in and I stumbled into a dark alleyway whilst I sat there and sighed, what have I done, the thought dizzying my brain as I leaned against the wall for an added strength, who was that, was that the asset, if so, why have we never met or seen them before, I practically grew up in Hydra, I would've known if I met someone called an asset.

Just when I contemplated it and tried to get my mind in order, a sudden whoosh came out of nowhere as I turned my head and saw a body of a tall figure lurking in the shadow, 'kill me or fight me because I'm never going back', I said.

'You're paying for you crimes Agent Y/L/n, the world will know what you did', he says as he steps out, into the light and I sighed as I nod, 'I deserve it', I say whilst looking back at him, 'so go ahead, I'm ready, I've been ready to die for a long time, so please, just put an end to it', I said more to myself as I let my eyes fall and I smiled as I pictured someone important to me, even though I lost a majority of it, I still remember her angelic face, 'I'm coming mom', I muttered as my hands fell limb again and I shut my eyes, forever.

Well, I hope.

________

I woke up on a couch and began to sit up whilst shaking off the last of my dizziness as I looked around and saw a kitchen, a dining table, the sofa, I was somehow sleeping on, kids toys scattered on the floor and other things that a typical house has.

'Coffee', someone says through the buzzing in my ears, and I shook my head, 'breakfast then', the man says when I looked up at him as he held the plate out for me and I took it, 'eat, you look like you haven't gone without it', he instructed as I saw a piece of toast, eggs, and other cut up good whilst I let out a silent sigh, 'how long have I been out', I questioned.

'Seventy two hours', he says as I look up at him and nod, 'who did I hurt', I questioned again as he took a seat opposite me, 'No one, well no one I know off', he says as I put the plate down, 'I need to go', I said whilst he stands from his seat to, 'where', he asked.

'To kill Pierce, the bastard needs to die', I explained.

'He's already dead', he informed me as I turned to him, and he flicks open the tv as I watch and sat back down.

________

I looked down at my hands as I closed my eyes and tried to remember parts of my life, but nothing was flashing in my head, it was like everything was gone.

'What's your name', he asked as I opened my eyes and look up at him, 'you already know my name', I responded as he nods, 'I know, I'm just seeing if you know your name', he says as I understood, 'Y/n'.

'Clint', he says as I nodded, 'you should've kill me Clint', I said whilst he looked back at me, '...I don't deserve to be alive; you should have put a bullet in me the same time they did it to my uncle, it's what I deserve for what I did', I explained.

'Do you know the difference with who wants out and who wants to stay in their line of business', he asked as I shake my head whilst he nods, 'well, I do, and you needed it last night, you wanted out and if I gave you the easier option, you wouldn't be able to make up for all the bad you've created', he says as I sighed.

'That's exactly why I need to die, I can't be living on this earth with all the bad I've done', I say.

'Believe me when I say we are not all that perfect', he explained as he takes the seat again and I sighed under my breath, '...everyone has done some bad, the question is, what are you going to do to make up for all of it', he questioned.

________

I thought about his question, repeating it in my head as I look back at him whilst he makes dinner with his wife, Laura, 'what happens from here', I asked as he looks over at me.

'I have someone that'll be able to help and get you readjusted', he says as I nod whilst Laura comes over with a bag, 'here, put these on, you'll need some fresh clothes', she implied as I nod again and take it, 'I need to stop by my apartment, I have things there I want to collect', I said as Clint quickly shook his head, 'No, that's too dangerous, do you know how much Hydra officials will be surveillancing your apartment right now', he explained as I nod again.

'I just... I had some things', I said as I sighed and he nods, 'I know, but if you want to be recaptured, then go ahead, but I suggest you stay put until I say otherwise', he says as I head to the bathroom to get changed.

________

'You said that you read a file about me', I say whilst he nods and helps his son eat his dinner, 'can I see it, I've lost a lot of memories and I'd really like to know more about myself', I said as he shook his head a little, 'I'm sorry, but those files got destroyed along with every other files when the building blew up', he explained as I sat back in my seat and sighed, 'you should eat, you'll need to gain your strength before we hit the road', he implied as I sat up a little, 'could I stay here for a little while, until I do', I asked as he nods whilst Laura does too, 'sure, take all the time you need', she says.