Four Dates and Tons of Insecurities

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

🌷Karthik POV

Drinking isn't the solution, but I have to divert my mind from her. Yes, her- She can't leave me like that. It's been 3 weeks since she is gone. The last two weeks I spent my time working on the new game launch, but all I had in my mind was her. 

If only things were different, If only I had talked to her the right way from the beginning we would have made babies by now. It's been 4 months since our marriage and never once she felt like my wife. What am I even talking about? I was never even a husband to her.

I never knew her value when she was near me. But once she is far away I want her. After our high school, she left. I thought good riddance. But there was always this void inside me that only filled up when I saw her again at that door of her apartment.

Does that mean I liked her before everything? Am I really drunk, that am imagining things? I was pulled away from my thoughts when my phone rang. It was my dad. Why is he calling now?

I pick the call and try hard to not slur my words." Hello, Karthik where are you?" my dad asks. I obviously can't say him I came to get drunk at this fancy bar.

"Dad, am at my penthouse. Had a lot of work today so very tired." I tell him.

"It's good to know that you are working hard. But have you ever tried vodka or whiskey that would get you drunk more easily?" He tells me in a calm voice.

"Yeah dad, I will- SHIT!" I realize what he told me. I panic around discerning he is somewhere near.

"Where are you?" I breathe out into the phone scared as shit.

"Behind you" my dad answers, which makes me turn around only to find him coming towards me waving his hand. Am I too drunk or is he really smiling?

"Why are you here?" I ask him not able to process the fact that he is here.

"Why do you come to a bar Karthik?" he questions back while sitting, giving a no-doubt-you-are-seriously- dumb look.

" To drink," I murmur.

" Yeah to drink. That's why am here. Want to share something with me?" he asks while ordering himself a cocktail.

"You wouldn't understand."I brush him off taking a swig of my rum. Gosh, getting drunk is never good. I think all the while memories of drunk Adithi come to my mind. I chuckle at that thought.

"Who understood when you didn't want to work in the hospital and set a new company?" he says playing with the cocktail he received just now.

"Who understood I was always lonely during childhood?" I retort back. Should I have shut my mouth? I think this is the right time to let him know he was not there for me. At least being drunk gave me the confidence.

" I am sorry, I know I was never by our family's side, I know I was never there for you when you took your first steps. I was never there when you won your first prize in a running race. I was never there for you as a father and am really sorry for that." These were the words I have been waiting to hear from him for as long as I remember. I could see tears in his eyes and moments later in my eyes too.

"Yes, you weren't there that time, but you did give me the support I need for setting up my company and I am grateful for that," I tell him truthfully, wiping the tears with my hands

"Can I be a dad for you now?" he asks looking at me, with hope and guilt in his eyes. I never knew he was this guilty. But, we children never know what is going on in our parents' minds until we become one. Now, I feel guilty for hating them.

" I would love that," I tell him with a smile, that crept onto my face. I never wanted it to but it did. Guess they did love me all the while. I was too shallow to understand.

" Then tell me what is bothering you?" he asks me again.

"But whose dad drinks with their son?"I snort out while taking a sip from the newly filled glass again.

" Your dad does. Now don't spoil the flow and talk," he answers, while he sips his cocktail too. I laugh at his quick and intelligent reply, but soon the question he asked brought me back to reality.

"I miss Adithi," I tell him genuinely while keeping my eyes focused on the glass in my hands.

"Yes, you do." My dad says indicating me to carry on.

"I love her and I realized it now," I tell him. I don't know whether you have these conversations with your dad but, for the time being, I need someone to talk to.

"That's great. I thought the marriage was forced upon you guys." He says seeming genuinely happy that this marriage wasn't forced. I hate to break his bubble but-

"No! it was forced. I fell in love with her after marriage." I tell him the truth right away.

" Oh! You want to get drunk because she doesn't love you back?" he questions. Gosh, he is so out of track! Does he think of my life as a one-sided love story? Is my life that pathetic?

"No! She has been in love with me for the past 10 years," I say with a pout.

"Then what is the problem?" he questions raising his voice a bit.

" I DON'T KNOW! I say, no shout!

" Okay! Calm down." He says putting his hands on my shoulder. But a question comes to my mind.

" Why are you doing this?"I ask him, he never asked me what bothered me in years.

"Doing what?" he says irritated not understanding my question. How out of context can he be?!

"Trying to understand me," I say in a calm tone, cause I didn't want to anger him further.

"Am getting old, Aryan will take over the hospital, So I want to spend time with you as much as I can. Cause I never spent time with you," he tells me chugging his whole glasses content in one go.

Yes, he is getting old, I think I should start spending more time with him.

"Wanna go out somewhere?" I ask him, he must have a place he would like to go to, right?

"I don't know what son and dad do together. I just want to spend some time with you." He tells me, on the side by calling the bartender to take away his glass.

"Okay then, I will show you my company," I say chugging my glass and paying our bill.

"Sure! Let's see it." He tells me getting up from the chair. I take his hand, call for a cab and reach home.

My dad sure does love me. Now the only thing left is for Adithi to come back and my life would get happier for sure.

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In the next 10-12 chapters the story will come to an end. Hope you guys loved the story as much as I did writing. Please stay tuned for the next chapter lots of love!

~Author