"Maam Ayie, may bisita po."
"Ha? Sa akin?"
"Opo."
"Okay, let the visitor come in."
I took a deep breath, kelan kaya lalaki ang tyan ko? Excited na excited kasi akong maramdaman itong dalawa ko.
"Yie."
"What are you doing here?"
Paeng suddenly hugged me tightly.
"Paeng,.."
Pilit kong inihiwalay si Paeng sa akin. Natatakot akong maramdaman nya ang mga anak namin. Natatakot ako dahil ayaw ko ng false hope.
"Hindi mo naman kailangang pumunta dito ng personal para sa divorce papers. Pirma mo lang ang kailangan."
"Love, I'm sorry."
"Anong sabi mo?"
"Love, I am so sorry, I am sorry."
Hindi ko alam kung kasya pa sa utak ko ang lahat ng dapat kong isipin. Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko. Nakakaalala na ba sya?
"Sorry? I am sorry? Ngayon?"
"Love."
I smiled. Pinipilit kong ianalyze kung ano ang nararamdaman ko, but there is just too much going in my head.
I sighed.
Sorry? Mabubura ba ng sorry ang lahat ng sakit? Mababawi ko ba lahat ng iniluha ko na? I am pretty much okay now and Raphael coming here makes my mind go crazy and heart twitch with pain.
Tinalikuran ko na si Paeng.
"Love, Ayie, alam ko, alam na alam ko ang sakit---"
Hinarap ko syang muli kahit pa napupuno na ng luha ang mga mata ko.
"Paano mo nalaman Paeng? Kasama ba kita? Sinaktan ba kita? Nawala ba ako ng ilang taon tapos pagbalik ko may iba na ako? Nabuntis ba ako ng iba? Paano mo malalaman? Paano mo mararamdaman? Kasi Paeng, hindi ko yun gagawin kailanman."
"Yie."
"Itigil na natin ito, tutal hindi rin naman tama ang naging simula. Kasalanan mo man, o kasalanan nila, ako, akin na lang lahat. Ako na lang ang may gawa, ako na lang ang may kasalanan. I am alone to blame for everything and I am taking it all, all of it. So please leave, leave me and everything about me. From this day forward, it will only be me without you."
I turned my back and left him alone in the garden.
"Maam Ayie,..."
"Manang?"
"Iniwan po ni Sir Paeng."
I sighed and bring the box with me in my room. Pero hindi ko na nabuksan pa ang kahon, I needed so much courage to do this.
"Ate?"
I smiled at my brother.
"Can you help me with my homework?"
"Sure Uncle Keion."
So I helped my brother. Evening came and my parents went home in an unusual mood.
"Ma? Pa?"
"Yie, anak."
"Ma?"
Mama took a deep breath.
"Paeng came here?"
"Yes Ma, but I swear I did not entertain him. I just said a few words and let him leave. Ma,.-"
Mama cut me.
"I know, unfortunately, Ayie, Paeng was hit by a car and he was in the hospital."
I fell from where I am seating.
"Anak,.."
"Do you want to go and visit him?"
"How is he?"
"He needs you now Anak."
Parang nahulog ang puso ko mula sa dibdib ko sa sobrang takot. Now that my father allows me to visit, mukhang malala ang nangyari kay Paeng.
Mama and Papa accompanied me to the hospital. Hindi ko na alam ang dapat ko maramdaman when I discovered that he was inside the ICU.
"Anak, please keep calm okay? There are lives inside you. There are little angels depending their lives on you. Please be strong."
So with some borrowed courage, I entered the ICU.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"Love..."
My tears fall generously.
"Love, please..."
I held his hands. Nakakaawa ang itsura ni Paeng, he had chords and strings over him
"Love, ako naman ang magsosorry please."
"Love, please open your eyes, please Paeng..."
***toooooot***
The doctors and nurses barged in, may isang nurse na humawak sa akin at dinala ako sa labas.
"No! No! Paeng! Paeng! No please, no please!"
And everything went black.
