N (WAYHAUGHT)

Chapter 13 - Life Circle

Nicole didn't move. "I needs to sort out the horses. Caspian needs me."

Wynonna threw her hands up in the air. "Fine. Do the horses. I'm going to check on Waverly."

She stormed out, leaving Nicole to fend for herself.

Waverly was laying down, her eyes closed when Wynonna entered. "I know you're not asleep. What's wrong my little chickie?"

"You haven't called me chickie in ages. I like that."

"Tell me. Is it your stomach, or your head, or what?"

"My stomach. It keeps fluttering. And, I feel sick in the morning."

Wynonna stood looking at her sister. "Waverly, when did you last have a you know what?"

"I'm not sure. I'm not like you. Not as clockwork."

"Waves. I'm being serious. When was the last time?"

Waverly sat up. "I've missed one. But, that happens."

Wynonna pulled up a stool. "You might be, you know, if you've missed one. If you are being sick, feeling tired, very emotional. Did Hardy do this?"

"I'm not emotional. And, no. We were standing up."

"No, no, no. Please, please, please, tell me you did not fall for the, you cannot get pregnant standing up trick."

"But, you can't. Can you? He said it was his goodbye present. To remember him. I can't be. Wyn, I can't be. We only did it the once."

"Oh, sweet child. It only takes one time, straight up or flat out."

"But, I'm with N. I can't. Wyn, I can't."

Wynonna reached out for her hands. "It would explain why you've been feeling the way you have."

"How am I going to explain this to N?"

"Slowly and loudly, would be my guess."

Waverly's sobs could be heard by everyone apart from N.

Nicole finished mucking out the horses, her breathing becoming more laboured, her knee aching. Another couple of spoons of Mrs Winslow's magical medicine would see her right. Caspian was fretful, not wanting his N to leave. She patted his side, distracted, until he nudged her for more affection. She laid her head against his neck, remembering the first time they had met, seeing this beautiful creature she was to look after. His wary eyes meeting hers, sensing she was nervous, patiently waiting for her hand to touch him.

It was aunty who had taught her how to be with horses, how to talk to them. Not be scared. Having grown up on a farm in the West Country, south of Bristol, she was used to being around animals, taking Nicole's hand, getting her to introduce herself to Caspian. "He wants to be your friend N. Look, his eyes are following you."

"But, what if he bites me aunty?"

"Caspian don't bite. Do you, my lovely. You be kind to N here. N, hold out your hand, let him see the sugar lump."

Nicole nervously held out her hand, letting Caspian sniff what she was offering. His snort making her drop the lump as she pulled her hand back. "He don't want it aunty."

Aunty laughed. "That's just Caspian playing with you. Pick it up, put your hand out again. Caspian, you be good now. Or, N won't look after you. You hears."

Caspian's ears pricked up. Nicole's hand shaking, aunty holding it for reassurance. Caspian sniffed the lump once more, delicately taking it from Nicole's hand. "It tickles aunty. His tongue."

"I know, my lovely. He likes you. I can tell."

"Can I ride him?"

"Perhaps. In time. You need to become his friend first. He's a funny old fellow this one. Only let's a few love him."

"Like me aunty. Ain't needing no one but you and Caspian."

"Oh, my darling N. There's a whole world out there waiting for you. There's more than us old bones for you to love. Let's go have some tea, shall we. These old bones need a rest. And, a drop of rum."

Nicole hobbled back to aunty's wagon, her knee telling her she needed to rest. She flopped on the bed fully clothed, aunty shouting at her to take her boots off, forgetting her hearing was bad. As soon as her head hit the pillow she was asleep. The effort of tending to the horses too much in her present condition. She didn't hear Wynonna enter. She didn't hear the conversation they had about Waverly's condition. Her world was still dancing to the tune of Mrs Winslow.

She woke early evening, her boots off, aunty preparing something for them to eat before the evening performance. She sat up, remembering not to hit her head again, her body aching, her knee throbbing. "I needs me medicine."

Aunty turned, a look on her face telling N something was wrong. She pulled up the stool, sitting beside the bed, taking Nicole's chin in her hand. "N, Waverly is pregnant."

Nicole attempted to understand aunty's lip movements failing to catch the last word. "Is Waverly alright? Let me go to her. She be sick."

"N, look at me. Waverly is with child."

Nicole processed the words aunty was saying. Had she just mouthed the word 'child,' she wondered. No, she had got that wrong. "Where is Waverly?"

"N. With child." Aunty pointed to her stomach, her hands making a rounded shape.

"A baby?"

Aunty nodded. "I'm sorry N. I really am. Let me get you your medicine."

Nicole sat on the edge of the bed. She had only been asleep for a few hours. How could all this have happened in the space of a few hours? "She needs me. Where are me boots?"

Aunty returned with the cough mixture. "N, she needs to be with the father of her child."

Nicole pushed the spoon away, spilling the cough mixture on the floor. "My boots," Nicole yelled, scaring aunty, who backed away no longer knowing the child before her. "Aunty, please, let me go to her."

"Oh N, go. I can't stop you."

Nicole pushed her feet into her boots, wincing as the pain in her knee jolted through her body. She needed to be with her, needed to hold her in her arms. Too many missed opportunities, too much time wasted. No one, not the father of her child, was going to take Waverly from her now. She hobbled out into the night, knowing what she had to do.