The story of tonight (Grofflin)

Chapter 44

"No no no, don't apologize. You have nothing to apologize for" he said as nicely as he could, still holding me as close as possible.

"It's cause... all I ever do is cr-y. How are you still here? I just don't get why someone like you would...care about me."

"Jon..." he said kissing my forehead. "You know that I don't mind this. If I could take your anxiety away, I would." He paused for a second. "This will end, ok?"

I nodded, calming down a bit. He wiped off a tear and kissed me.

"I'm still here because I love you, Groff" he whispered. "No matter what."

"I-I love you too" I responded, still recovering from my episode.

"Did you take your pill" he said starting to play with my hair.

"Frankly, does it look like I've taken it?"

He chuckled a little. "Yeah that was a dumb question. You should take it though. You're still really stiff."

If it makes him feel better. I breathed out and got up to take my pill for what feels like the thousandth time. I opened my nightstand to find nothing. Where'd it go? "It's not in here." I started digging at this point.

"Maybe it's in your coat? You put it in your coat before we left" he said getting up to look for it downstairs. After about a minute, he came back with the little canister and handed it to me.

"Thank you, seriously." He nodded and hopped back in bed. I took my pill and cuddled back into him. I fell asleep to him playing with my hair and the sound of his steady heartbeat.

~Next Day~

I woke up cold. I've never woken up cold, so I was confused. I looked up and Lin was no where to be found. He should be here. I picked up my phone and called him.

After a single ring he answered "Hey do you need me?"

"I'm cold. Where are you?"

"I'm in my office and my hoodie is in the closet." He sounds tired.

"Ok..." I said. "Are you not coming back up here?"

"In a bit, or, at least, when I'm done" he said sighing towards the end.

"Ok." It was a long silence.

"I'll make it up to you, ok? I promise" he said sensing my disappointment. "I have to go. Try and go back to sleep, ok? I love you."

"Love you too." He hung up as soon I was done saying that. I got his hoodie from the closet and got back in bed. I kept staring at the empty space in the bed. I heard the air conditioner start. It turned off and turned back on again, this time blowing out warm air. At least he put the heater on. I scooted over to his side of the bed and basically hugged myself.

I looked at his nightstand and saw a picture of his family with a newborn which I'm guessing is Seb. Wholesome. I opened the drawer letting my curiosity take over. The first thing I saw was a whole Snickers bar which made me laugh a little. He has old watches, his old wedding ring, and a bunch of pictures. I picked up the pictures and went through them. There were some pictures where I was trying to figure out if it was Seb or Lin when he was little. The others were of his family, some with Vanessa, and some with his old friends. All except the last one. I don't remember this picture being taken, but I know that it wasn't all too recent. Lin and I were laughing together while holding what I'm guessing is part of a card game. I flipped the picture and there was a whole essay on the back.

My dear Jonathan,
I don't know how I should tell you this, but I've loved you ever since I laid my eyes on you.
You brighten every room you walk into.
You're smile is so contagious.
Your laughter will forever play out in my mind.
No matter how long I'll hold these feelings to myself, I will always love you.
I just know that I will never let go.
It would be hard to ever wonder how it would be if we were together.
I have a son, my dearest Sebastian, that I know if I left my wife he would be heartbroken.
I would have to leave everything to be with you.
I would have to show to my parents that I'm not what they raised me to be.
I would risk anything to be with you.
My kid is counting on me to be there for him, and he's the reason I know I can't let go of Vanessa.
Vanessa is his world, and if she's crushed by this, I know he won't be ok.
I love you so much, my dear Jonathan.
I wish us the best future whether that's romantic or platonic.
Just to be with you.
Siempre,
Lin