dive into you | jongsang (✓)

- one -

dear person,
i do not know you and you do not know me, but i am hoping you will read this letter. i am in need of a friend, however i am too afraid to leave my house most of the time.

this week has been very difficult for me. my dad ran off with the woman he had been seeing and my mom has been crying nonstop. i'm angry, but i cannot bring myself to show that anger. to top this all off, my mom's cancer came back about a month ago, and she's only getting worse as time goes on. i'm absolutely terrified that i'm going to lose her.

in case you're wondering, i'm 20 years old and i'm in school virtually. my only friend is a boy named wooyoung, but he's tried to get me to become friends with his boyfriend and some of his other friends. i'm just afraid that i'll mess it up. i'm selectively mute, so i just don't understand how i'm supposed to make friends with wooyoung's friends. i want to, but i feel like i'm suffocating every time i try.

i'm hoping you're around the same age as me. maybe we can be pen pals. maybe we'll even become friends someday.

i do not want to freak you out, so i will admit that i chose this address randomly. it's located near the only school i ever went to in person, but i do not know who lives there. i never did.

i hope you're doing well, stranger.

- kang y.

yeosang folded up the letter and inserted it into the envelope, proud of himself for being so open with a stranger. he didn't even know if the recipient would read it, but simply getting the words on a page felt good.

he sealed the envelope and placed a stamp in the corner, then made his way over to put his shoes on.

today, he was going to wooyoung's house, and on the way he planned on dropping off the letter to a mailbox. he was a bit nervous, as he always was when he walked to wooyoung's, but he was determined to make it today.

"i'll be back later, mom... i'm going to woo's," he whispered, barely audible over his mother's cries.

she nodded, saying nothing as he left the house.

it took yeosang fifteen minutes to get to wooyoung's, and he froze when he saw an unfamiliar car in the driveway. his palms grew sweaty and he felt his throat go dry as he pushed himself towards the door and knocked.

wooyoung appeared confused when he opened the door, but smiled anyways.

"sangie! i'm so glad you made it. hey, why'd you knock? you never knock..."

despite not seeing anyone unfamiliar just yet, yeosang couldn't seem to get the words out of his mouth, so he simply pointed at the unfamiliar car in the driveway.

"ohhhh, i see. don't worry, sangie, san's leaving soon. i didn't expect him to be staying so late otherwise i would've warned you!"

yeosang nodded, hugging himself, then followed wooyoung up the stairs and into his room. he had met san once before, very briefly, but he was still very unfamiliar to yeosang.

"oh, hey yeosang! it's nice to see you," san greeted with a smile.

yeosang waved and quickly typed something in his text to speech app, san patiently waiting as he understood the boy's selective mutism.

it's nice to see you too, san. sorry for interrupting, the app read.

wooyoung frowned and shook his head, then hugged yeosang tightly.

"hey, you're not interrupting, sangie. i invited you over first, okay?"

"i was leaving soon anyways, yeosang. i'm going to hang out with some of my friends tonight."