Not As It Seems - We Bought A Zoo Fanfic

Ch 14

Avery's Pov: 

Spar was dying, we all knew it. Kelly knew it, I knew it, Peter knew it, my dad knew it. My dad just didn't want to accept the fact that he couldn't save him. It was the same way with mom. She was too sick to save and after her death he blamed himself. I guess he still does because he doesn't want to let Scar go. 

He had small argument with Kelly about the tiger after we had managed to get Spar down from a high rock which he had climbed on. So now they were ignoring each other, but Kelly did say she felt bad when we were talking earlier. She understood his situation as did I and his reaction made perfect sense. 

"You should go talk to him." I suggested when we finished getting Rosie in bed and cleaned up the messy kitchen. My dad had just gotten back home and was sitting outside on the porch quietly. 

She chuckled, "I'm not sure he wants to talk to me right now." 

"No he does. He's been anxious which means he feels sorry and doesn't think you'll accept his apology." I reassured her. 

"You sure do understand his feelings." I cracked a small smile. It was true, I knew him very well just as I knew Rosie and Dylan well. 

"I learned how to read him well after mom died." I admitted. "Now stop talking to me and go down there and make up with him." 

"Fine! I surrender!" She laughed while raising her hands in defeat. 

"Have fun!" I shouted when she left the room. "But not too much!" 

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As soon as she left I ran up to my room and cracked open the window to listen to their conversation. Being nosy is my job, especially when it comes to my best friend and father. 

"....They're all triggers, man. And it got better for a while. I mean, it... It did, out here. But the funny thing is that it just turn out that she's here, too. I mean, I go to Home Depot. I go to the nine-miles-away Target." I heard my dad explain, followed by a small laugh from Kelly. 

"We need a new store." Kelly giggled. 

"And seriously, I'm avoiding half the aisles. Condiments. Pastries, forget about it. She loved red kites and blueberry Pop-Tarts. I mean, who doesn't, right?" My father continued. 

"Who doesn't?" 

"If I only I could talk to her about getting over her." He sighed softly. It broke my heart to hear him talk about mom like that. I mean I understood his heart ache, but I didn't know the extent of his feelings. 

"Yeah." 

"And most of all, it's the kids. They're the best triggers of all. I mean, Dylan. His eyes. You know, I've only seen that expression in somebody's eyes once in my life. And the way he just drives me nuts he makes me crazy. Denies me, frustrates me. And all the time, he's looking at me with her eyes. And none of her lightness. Then there's Avery. I love her, she just looks so much like her. I can't look at Avery without seeing her. I know I should treat her better, she deserves so much more, I just can't get myself to talk to her. What I've figures out is that when you love somebody that much, that hard, that long, you can never get away from them no matter where you go. And that only comes once in a lifetime. Just can't get a handle on it. I cannot let go." He finished. 

His explanation brought tears to my eyes, it made sense now. All this time I thought he hated me when it wasn't like that at all. He just saw too much of her. 

"I can. Sleep well, Benjamin. Sweet dreams." I heard Kelly bid him goodbye and then the sounds of her soft footsteps walking away. 

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As soon as Kelly left dad came back in and was met with my fuming brother. He must have heard as well because they got into a huge argument about what my father had said. But soon the yelling subsided and I left my room to go talk to my dad about what he'd told Kelly earlier. 

"Knock knock." I greeted him from the doorway as I tapped my knuckles against the door frame. 

My dad ran a hand across his face. "I'm not really in the mood to talk right now." 

"I know I just wanted to say that I understand." He sent me a confused look. "I mean I understand why you find it hard to talk to me. I thought you hated me, but know I understand that you don't talk to me very much anymore because of her. I get it, but I still need my father in my life. So whenever you are ready to talk to me, I'd love to chat sometime even if it's just an exchange of a few words." I concluded with a smile. 

"I'm sorry. I've been kinda selfish haven't I?" He apologized and I shrugged. 

"Maybe just a bit." 

"Well I'd love to start talking to you more. It might take a bit of time, but I do still love you and I want to be a part of your life." He explained softly and I nodded before leaving the stressed man alone to sleep.

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A/n: I felt like writing some more. have a good night