toxic|chan

~one~

"You're insane. Why are you giving up?" HyunJin questions as he hugs me from behind.

"I don't have a choice. I can't get a part time job as is—if I stop training, it'll open up my schedule so I'm more open. That'll make it at least a little bit easier to get a job. Besides—you guys know—it's not cheap being a trainee." I remind him of the obvious as the other four sigh in defeat.

"Can't you just talk to someone about it? If they understand what's going on in your family, maybe they'll help. They love you. They're always going on about how you're going to make it big some day." SeungMin frowns as he pokes at my side. I swat his hand away and pry HyunJin's arms off of me.

"I have to do it. If I had a choice, I wouldn't—but I don't. My mom's struggling to keep a roof over our heads. She's not eating so I can. I can't let her keep doing this to herself. I'll be fine. It's not like I would've actually gotten anywhere if I did debut." I swallow hard and turn my back toward them. We made a promise to each other three years ago that no matter what, we'd hold out until the day we all get to see each other debut. I never imagined I'd be the first one to go. We always joked it'd be HyunJin because he's a drama queen. We figured he'd overreact to something and storm out.

"Just a little bit longer—can't you wait just a bit more? There's a rumor that they're going to debut another group soon. What if they're planning on putting you in it?" Felix is quick to hop up and grab my arm. He tugs me back towards the others.

"Her family is more important. Even if she debuts, she's not gonna be making money until after her debt is paid. It won't be any help. If she's an idol she won't be able to work part time either." MinHo points out and the others sigh in agreement. They know there's really no other choice for me. It's the best thing for me to do for my mom and me.

"We're gonna miss you. You'll have to come visit us all the time. If we ever debut, you'll be our very first fan, right?" Little JeongIn looks up at me with wide eyes. I nod as a weak smile crosses my face.

"Of course, Innie. I've been your number one fan since I met you guys. You're going to debut and you'll sweep the charts. You'll win every award at least once." I insist as stand in front of them apologetically. I owe them everything. They kept my spirits up when things got tough. They made sure that I was caught up if I had to miss a lesson or something. They never let me fall behind.

"Summer—you said you wanted to talk?" Our CEO slips into the room and the boys tense up.

"Oh—I was going to come to you." I mumble as I rub at the back of my neck. I'm usually that person who's loud and outgoing, but when it comes to our CEO, I'm anything but. He's not a bad man, he's just—he's been carrying my future in his hands for years and I've been careful to make sure I don't give him a reason to drop me. I guess now it doesn't really matter.

"I figured you'd be busy. It's not a big deal. What's up?" He sits down on the couch behind MinHo. MinHo spins to face him, not wanting to have his back turned to him.

"I—I have to leave. I can't train anymore. My mom needs me to help bring in money." I lower my head as I prepare for a backlash. He's put so much money into training me and I'm wasting it all.

"I get it. You have to take care of your mom. I get it. You don't have to be worried about it. I'll figure everything out. Your family is more important. You know—you can come back whenever. I will always have a spot here for you. Even if you just want to stop by to dance for a bit, you're more than welcome to use the practice rooms. You're also welcome to come back and deal with these troublemakers. Which leads me to the other reason I stopped in—" He forces a weak smile as the boys all turn toward him anxiously.