Yellow || hs au

| 83 |

   "I'm scared, baby." He whispers, my fingers that gently run across his back in a hotel pattern, come to a slow halt. I easily pull away from him, just enough to see his face. His eyes are still wet and puffy, and he looks completely lost. I shake my head and gently wipe away the wetness the tears have left from his cheeks. He keeps a firm hold on my waist as I delicately wipe beneath his tired eyes. "What if it doesn't work?" He asks, his voice barely audible to me.

   "Don't think like that," I mumble, giving him a small scold with my eyes. "You're doing this because you're ready to get better, you have to remember that. You can't get better if you don't want to, Harry. And you do, I can see it." I tell him truthfully, his eyes never leaving my own. He sniffles quietly, so I take the short opportunity to lean forward and kiss the pout off of his lips. He reacts immediately, his chest rising as he inhales sharply through his nose. "I'm proud of you." I whisper, pulling away to find his gaze. His waterline floods with more tears as I gently trace his pouted lips with my thumb.

   "You're proud of me?" He questions, his soft voice sounding like an innocent child's. I give him a small grin, lacing my fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck. He blink up at me, causing more silent tears to decorate his cheeks.

   "So proud." I answer, earning a small grin from him as he pulls me impossibly closer to his body. He shifts me here and there, but none the less he keeps me wrapped in his strong embrace. I hold him tightly as he leans forward to capture my top lip with his own in a delicate kiss. I slide my hand to the back of his neck, the other running up and down his chest, the thick fabric of his long sleeve makes me want the shirt for myself. I push my thoughts away as I gently lift the bottom hem of his shirt, enough to slide my hand under to find his bare chest.

   His stomach is now sunken in, his ribcage sticking out a bit further than it should. I know he's not healthy, and I really hope that while he's gone, he'll get better at taking better care of himself. I rarely see him eat or drink water, and it's been worrying me for quite a long time. I just don't think it's something I should point out. He's going through enough already, the last thing he needs is me jumping on him about a possible eating disorder.

   "I love you." He murmurs against my lips, suddenly standing us up from the couch. Both of our grips tighten on one another, my legs wrapping around his hips as we pull away. He leaves open mouthed kisses up and down my neck, my eyes fluttering closed as we make it back to his bedroom. I feel him gently lay me back on his bed before he leaves me for a moment. I wait, panting to catch my breath before one of the lights beside his bed flickers on, giving off just enough light for us to see each other.

   He returns back between my legs, his lips messily meeting mine in a sloppy kiss as he rests his weight on top of me. I feel his hands run up and down the sides of my legs slowly, gently squeezing every so often. His teeth sink into my bottom lip, just enough to pull at it and earn a quiet moan from the back of my throat. Harry groans lowly as he traces kisses down my neck, his hands working to push my sweatshirt up.

   "Can I take it off?" He asks breathlessly, his hands gripping the bottom of the material. I nod, assisting him with pulling my arms out on my own while he pulls the material over my head, exposing my black bra. He leans down and leaves kisses from my collar bones, down over the swell of my breasts and down to my stomach and waistline of my leggings. "Gonna miss everything about you." He mumbles, moving back up to my lips where he leaves several kisses. "Your lips, your hair, your voice," he trails off, kissing my neck tenderly as he rambles in a low tone. "The way you squeeze my hand, how you kiss my cheeks when you leave me," he continues, my heart hammering against my ribcage. "Sure as fuck miss the way you touch me." He groans, dipping his fingers into the sides of my pants as my own fingers stay laced in the curls at the back of his head.

   "Then come back to me." I whisper up at him, pulling at his shirt. He notices my want for him to get rid of it, so he does. "Come back better, and show me just how much you missed me." I continue, staring up at him. The corner of his lips lift as he leans down to meet my lips again, his hand reaching to the side to force one of my legs against his side, my hand returning to their place in his hair.

   "I promise." He whispers against my lips, slowly nodding his head. I grin lightly up at him, his eyes sparkling with tears as he leans back down, shoving his lips again mine. I screw my eyes closed, forcing the tears away as he kisses me with desperation and greed. "I love you, forever, Clover." He voices firmly. I only press my lips back against his, just as hard, hoping he will feel even an ounce of the love I have for him, through it.

   "I love you always."

—

Happy update !!

So sorry it took so long, I'm really trying to make these chapters good for you guys.

I also saw Harry in St. Paul the other day, I was in pit and it was fucking unreal. I'm still not recovered and it's been like two days. I miss him so, so much.