Dramatic and in Love

12. Leaving. Term 4, 2012

Here it is. The day my heart fell to pieces. I think back now and I guess I am ok with it. I guess it was a good thing it happened.

Lockers. That's where it all started. I was putting my books in my locker when I heard one of the girl's yell "YOU'RE LEAVING!?!"

I thought that another student was leaving this school until a deep voice said "I'm sorry guys." I froze. I couldn't breathe at all. I had to lean on my locker for support. No I refused to believe this. I looked over to my friend, and she seemed so sad for me. We just stared at each other for a while. Then I kept hitting my head on the locker door.

The pain didn't hit me until Friday night when we had c group social (where all youth groups join and go somewhere to have fun. The youth group went to fountain g, which is a shopping centre.) He was there of course. I was in a group with my friends and we found him walking around and we decided to talk to him. They raged about him leaving.

He said, "Sorry, but now I can lead youth groups again because it's kind of awkward when you are a teacher and lead youth groups with the students that you teach."

I said nothing. I was silent. I am never silent. That's when it hit me. He was leaving. All throughout the night my heart felt like someone would tear it out, stomp on it, repair it and shove it back in again and repeat it again and again.

From then on I would treasure each moment I had when I saw him. I would capture the shape of his eyes and mouth, his laugh, his singing voice, his hair, the way he talked, everything. But for all those teacher lovers out there, we all know it will never be enough.