Dramatic and in Love

1. The Realisation in November term 3, 2011

Youth group 2011. That's where it all started. Weird place to fall for your teacher, right? FYI (for your information) I am telling you the back story so you can understand my situation better, so bear with me.

I never knew him or seen him in my life so when he came to youth group as a leader I assumed he would be at least 22 years old as the other leaders were all 19 or so. It wasn't love at first sight of course, I never thought him as attractive, although he did have the looks. You see, I liked this other guy at the time so this leader never crossed my mind. Well this is not about the other guy, this is about Marsbar. (Code name that I still use, it's lame I know but who cares.) He was very laid back and a bit weird but not in a nerdy way or creepy way, in a cool way where you couldn't help but laugh at his foolishness.

Then came November, the month where I figured that I had no feelings for the other guy and I was at peace as I didn't have to worry about whether he liked me or not and all that emotional crap. But then I realised, yes, I realised, that when I did like the other guy, I grew to have feelings towards Marsbar without even knowing it. Never intended to but love happens, right?

I breathed in and out, it's ok, he is only a few years older than me. Breathe, it's ok to have a crush on him. I look back now and it is by far one of the worst lies I have told myself.