Don't Catch Me!

Chapter 3 - Questions with No Answers

Aww hell.  There was only one place my book could be.

Nobody.

I was carrying all my books when I collided with the door. I must have picked up the wrong book.  I must have picked up his book.  He must have mine.  Damn!

I dropped my head into my hands.  This meant two things, two immediate consequences.  Firstly, he was doing physics with me.  Secondly, I was going to have to talk to him again.  I needed to exchange books with him.  I needed my book back.   

I dropped my head to the bench and softly bashed it against the wood.  OK so I hoped that this would wake me out of this nightmare.  Nope, no luck.  Maybe my throbbing head would make the pain of having to talk to him seem like a lesser agony.  Again, nope, not likely.

I was imprinting the chiselled graffiti into my brow as he walked in the room.  Damn. 

The teacher had yet to arrive.  If I was going to do this I had to do this now.  Don’t be a baby.  Do this now.  Be strong.  Come on Fran you aren’t a coward. 

I pulled myself up and with the physics book in my grip I strode up to his desk with purpose, confidence and ire.

“You have my book.” 

His head half turned to me.  But he didn’t respond.

“You have my physics book.”  I said again this time through ground teeth.

His eyes turned to me.  Such a deep blue, like the ocean they seemed to go forever.

“And...?” His eyebrow moved slightly but although his voice was detached his eyes told a different story.

“Just swap books with me and ...”

“No.”

“No?  What?  Why?”  I looked at him in confusion. 

“No.”

“Why?”

“I like your book. You made notes.  Why should I give it back to you?”

“Because I am asking you nicely!”

“Nicely?  Really?  We must have different definitions of that word.”

I ground my teeth now.

Different definitions!  Really!

“Give me my book back!”

“No.”

I closed my eyes.  My left foot stamped a familiar rhythm.  Damn, shit, hell, feck, bugger, arsehole, jerk, smuck, deep breath.

“Please can I have my physics book back?”  I asked nicely.

“No.”

 “Fine.”  I turned to walk away, tears budding in my eyes.

“Unless...” he left the word hanging.

I stopped unsure as to what to do.  I slowly turned to face him.  He smirked at me.  Part of me wanted to say something in language I rarely used aloud, but the other part of me wanted my book back and I was curious.

“Unless what?”  I asked as he sat there watching my face.

“Unless you agree to tutor me,” he smirked.

I closed my eyes.  “You want me to tutor me in exchange for one physics book?  What do you need help with?”

I opened my eyes in time to catch his mouth curl into the cheekiest smile, “Ohhh, I am not sure you would exchange a book with me for what I need help with!” He laughed, “But let’s just start with the academic stuff shall we?”

OK so this was a text book, right.  No reason to humiliate for the sake of a text book, right?  But I was outraged with his attitude.  My stubborn side kicked in.   I wanted my book back.  I wanted my notes back.  I wanted to win.  Damn this boy.

No!  No, I would not prostitute myself for a text book.

“Got to hell!” I slammed his book, the ‘D148’ book down on his desk and walked away.

I stubbornly refused to play by his rules.  Bastard.  No way was I giving into his blackmail.

I spent the rest of the lesson wondering how I was going to explain the need to purchase yet another physics book to my mother, and wondering if I could remember all the notes taken throughout the book. The physics class dragged on. 

The bell finally rang.

“Hell?  Been there, got the t-shirt, don’t plan on a second tour.  Stay away from me.”  The soft angry words whispered in my ear as my physics book arrived with a loud smack on my desk.  “Get over me.”

I sat there watching his back disappearing out the door.  ‘Get over me’ what was that supposed to mean?  Was he so arrogant that he thought that I was lost for him?  What a jerk.

I picked up the book... my book.  I opened the front cover to find inside some scrawled words, the ink was pressed deeply into the paper with unfamiliar penmanship.  What?

I dropped everything.  I left everything.  I picked up the book and I ran after him. 

The hall was swimming with people, I turned in a full 360 looking for the hair, looking for a glimpse of him.  Nothing.  He was gone.  In the middle of the hall, surrounded by jostling people, I shrank wrapping my arms around my knees I rocked on my feet as the tears flooded down my face.  People swore at me as they stumbled around me.  But I didn’t care.  I just closed my eyes as the words he wrote reverberated through me.

 “Cissy, I’ve missed you so much.  Please forgive me.  As always, yours for all eternity, Joel.”